I started seeing my Psychologist again this week due to this issue. I have suffered from depression in the past and he thinks that I am still suffering even though I currently dont feel "sad" but I do feel angry and irritable. He believes this is part of the reason that I am experiencing this problem. He also believes that because I have no self esteem and so much hatred towards myself and have cheated on my boyfriend multiple times that this is also contributing. I dont personally enjoy sex and havent in a while but continue to "use" it help me "feel better." I have a lot of guilt and negative talk in my head and am unable to get "in the mood" with my boyfriend. My Psychologist said that I need to work on getting better self-esteem, decide if I really want to be with my boyfriend or not (because if I do I cant keep cheating on him) and believes that the situation could be fixed. I have engaged in a lot of high risk sexual behavior within the last year and have an appointment with my primary care doctor to get a full STD check on Tuesday as well as talking about getting back on Anti-Depressants. I realize I have to start changing and deciding what I want because the things Im doing are not fair to my boyfriend and he doesnt deserve this. I think once everything starts to get sorted out and I come to terms with myself, this problem will work itself out. For now, I have to learn how to not have random multiple sexual encounters be a symptom of my depression because ultimately it makes me feel much much worse.
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I started seeing my Psychologist again this week due to this issue. I have suffered from depression in the past and he thinks that I am still suffering even though I currently dont feel "sad" but I do feel angry and irritable. He believes this is part of the reason that I am experiencing this problem. He also believes that because I have no self esteem and so much hatred towards myself and have cheated on my boyfriend multiple times that this is also contributing. I dont personally enjoy sex and havent in a while but continue to "use" it help me "feel better." I have a lot of guilt and negative talk in my head and am unable to get "in the mood" with my boyfriend. My Psychologist said that I need to work on getting better self-esteem, decide if I really want to be with my boyfriend or not (because if I do I cant keep cheating on him) and believes that the situation could be fixed. I have engaged in a lot of high risk sexual behavior within the last year and have an appointment with my primary care doctor to get a full STD check on Tuesday as well as talking about getting back on Anti-Depressants. I realize I have to start changing and deciding what I want because the things Im doing are not fair to my boyfriend and he doesnt deserve this. I think once everything starts to get sorted out and I come to terms with myself, this problem will work itself out. For now, I have to learn how to not have random multiple sexual encounters be a symptom of my depression because ultimately it makes me feel much much worse.
April 6, 2012 - 12:01pmThis Comment
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