After an awesome birthday celebration with two of my best friends in Vegas, I went in to see the doctor because I had a lump under my left arm that was starting to bother me when I worked out. As a Navy veteran living in DC, I was immediately referred to the Walter Reed Breast Clinic. The radiologist reviewed my mammogram pictures while I waited (never a good sign). Subsequently, he told me “I’m sorry, you have breast cancer.” Really? Yes, really. My first mammogram was my last and just like that I was a statistic.
I cried for about 30 minutes and then I called my best friend and practiced telling her so I wouldn’t cry when I told my parents and brother. My brother is a professional wrestler with a world famous temper. I went home and calmly broke the news, expecting him to hit a wall or fly into a rage. His rather elevating response was, “You’re going to get it cut out and get an upgrade. Get over it.”
And thus started my adventures with Breast Cancer. I realized I hadn’t really been living life up to that point. I was living to work instead of working to live. So I threw my left breast and cancer a going away party. Additionally, I signed up for online dating. Why would someone diagnosed with cancer sign up for a dating service during treatment? Why the hell not? I felt like I just woke up and was ready to get back in the game of life. My brother was a huge help. He made sure I ate like an athlete and was in the best shape for surgery. He might have done too good a job. The night after my first mastectomy, a male nurse asked me for my phone number. That was a little creepy. (I should mention that I was lucky enough to have immediate reconstruction. As a result when I woke up after surgery the only physical change to my breast was that it was perkier and looked like a Barbie doll. I was anatomically correct; I just didn’t have a nipple.) I ended up doing 4 rounds of chemotherapy and have a few tips on how to make that fun for anyone that has either just been diagnosed with breast cancer or knows someone that has been diagnosed.
You will find you have many friends that love you and will want to support you. Enjoy them to the fullest!
If you are going to do chemo, make each one a party. I chose to make each one a Halloween party complete with theme. Mardi Gras Chemo, Beach Blanket Chemo, Breakfast at Chemo and Biker Babe Chemo, which really ended up looking more like Hooker Getting Chemo.
Drink lots of water. Not only does it flush the chemo, your skin will look great!
Never diet during chemo. Trust me on this one.
You can have sex during chemo but not during the actual treatments.
People will send you chocolates, flowers and champagne. Enjoy!
If you decide to shave your head, get a Mohawk first. It’s a great picture opportunity. (I was fortunate enough to find out I looked better without hair and enjoyed being bald.)
Get a pink Britney wig. It’s the only time in your life you can truly get away with it.
Botox before chemo. There is no reason to look stressed while going through cancer.
Spray tan. It’s a little cold but it freaks the nurses out. Nurse: “Kimberly! We told you to stay out of the sun!” Kimberly: “It’s a spray tan!”
After my first mastectomy, the biopsy results revealed that the lump was too close to my skin to be considered “clean”. Instead of radiation, I opted for a revision of the skin and more surgery. This was actually a blessing. Every morning I would wake up and look down at my left breast and say “Hello Barbie.” I decided I wanted my right one to match so I requested a prophylactic mastectomy. The doctors agreed and I am now the proud owner of not one but two stripper breasts.
Two years later and I am physically the same person I was before breast cancer albeit I have a great set of breasts that will never fall and a fondness of pixie haircuts. Thanks to breast cancer, I ended a life-long, love-hate relationship with my hair and have opted to keep it super short. And I actually do wake up and smell the flowers.
Lastly, I don’t want to do a disservice to my fellow breast cancer conquerors. Breast cancer was not all chocolates, champagne and chemo parties. It was pain and every day I live with the question “What if it comes back?” But I take every day as a new one and look forward to them (I look forward to Friday, Saturday and Sunday most of all.) Because it’s not about surviving, it’s about conquering!
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After an awesome birthday celebration with two of my best friends in Vegas, I went in to see the doctor because I had a lump under my left arm that was starting to bother me when I worked out. As a Navy veteran living in DC, I was immediately referred to the Walter Reed Breast Clinic. The radiologist reviewed my mammogram pictures while I waited (never a good sign). Subsequently, he told me “I’m sorry, you have breast cancer.” Really? Yes, really. My first mammogram was my last and just like that I was a statistic.
I cried for about 30 minutes and then I called my best friend and practiced telling her so I wouldn’t cry when I told my parents and brother. My brother is a professional wrestler with a world famous temper. I went home and calmly broke the news, expecting him to hit a wall or fly into a rage. His rather elevating response was, “You’re going to get it cut out and get an upgrade. Get over it.”
And thus started my adventures with Breast Cancer. I realized I hadn’t really been living life up to that point. I was living to work instead of working to live. So I threw my left breast and cancer a going away party. Additionally, I signed up for online dating. Why would someone diagnosed with cancer sign up for a dating service during treatment? Why the hell not? I felt like I just woke up and was ready to get back in the game of life. My brother was a huge help. He made sure I ate like an athlete and was in the best shape for surgery. He might have done too good a job. The night after my first mastectomy, a male nurse asked me for my phone number. That was a little creepy. (I should mention that I was lucky enough to have immediate reconstruction. As a result when I woke up after surgery the only physical change to my breast was that it was perkier and looked like a Barbie doll. I was anatomically correct; I just didn’t have a nipple.) I ended up doing 4 rounds of chemotherapy and have a few tips on how to make that fun for anyone that has either just been diagnosed with breast cancer or knows someone that has been diagnosed.
You will find you have many friends that love you and will want to support you. Enjoy them to the fullest!
If you are going to do chemo, make each one a party. I chose to make each one a Halloween party complete with theme. Mardi Gras Chemo, Beach Blanket Chemo, Breakfast at Chemo and Biker Babe Chemo, which really ended up looking more like Hooker Getting Chemo.
Drink lots of water. Not only does it flush the chemo, your skin will look great!
Never diet during chemo. Trust me on this one.
You can have sex during chemo but not during the actual treatments.
People will send you chocolates, flowers and champagne. Enjoy!
If you decide to shave your head, get a Mohawk first. It’s a great picture opportunity. (I was fortunate enough to find out I looked better without hair and enjoyed being bald.)
Get a pink Britney wig. It’s the only time in your life you can truly get away with it.
Botox before chemo. There is no reason to look stressed while going through cancer.
Spray tan. It’s a little cold but it freaks the nurses out. Nurse: “Kimberly! We told you to stay out of the sun!” Kimberly: “It’s a spray tan!”
After my first mastectomy, the biopsy results revealed that the lump was too close to my skin to be considered “clean”. Instead of radiation, I opted for a revision of the skin and more surgery. This was actually a blessing. Every morning I would wake up and look down at my left breast and say “Hello Barbie.” I decided I wanted my right one to match so I requested a prophylactic mastectomy. The doctors agreed and I am now the proud owner of not one but two stripper breasts.
Two years later and I am physically the same person I was before breast cancer albeit I have a great set of breasts that will never fall and a fondness of pixie haircuts. Thanks to breast cancer, I ended a life-long, love-hate relationship with my hair and have opted to keep it super short. And I actually do wake up and smell the flowers.
Lastly, I don’t want to do a disservice to my fellow breast cancer conquerors. Breast cancer was not all chocolates, champagne and chemo parties. It was pain and every day I live with the question “What if it comes back?” But I take every day as a new one and look forward to them (I look forward to Friday, Saturday and Sunday most of all.) Because it’s not about surviving, it’s about conquering!
July 4, 2012 - 6:32amThis Comment
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