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Thank you for giving me your point of view, yes our relationship has has had many issues, we are working on all our issues and things have gotten better he's never had a charge prior to the occasion and hasnt had one since, and we are talking with someone about his disapearance he has also been sober for a year and 2 months now. I guess i was only thinking of myself and not taking into consideration his life and what he lost and was/is going through. I think talking face to face with a counselor is a good idea and am willing to do anything to make things work. He is a really good man who would do anything for his kids and girlfriend and even a stranger on the street and i need to remember that. Again Thank you for your time and point of view I really appreciate it, and it really did help. To be honest I was thinking i was going to get a reply saying i need to dump this guy or he is cheating on me, i never thaught it could be me being selfish and not recognizing anythng that was happening/happend to him. Thank you, it really helped me and opend my eyes.