And there is a lot more to porn addiction than just porn. When my husband got help with porn addiction, he came clean about everything. Besides letting me know that he imagined himself having all kinds of sex with the women of porn, I also learned that he fantasized about some of my friends, some of my family members, some of our neighbors, women we saw or met out in public, and all of his past relationships, including his ex-wife. For example, if we were eating in a restaurant & ran into a woman he found attractive, he would fantasize about her with me sitting right next to him, and then go to the bathroom and masturbate with her on his mind. Most of the time he would lose his erection when he tried to be with me, but when he could perform, he usually imagined I was someone else like his ex-wife. Can you imagine just how hurtful this all was? I could forgive him for the porn. But for the times that he was deep into fantasy over all these real women, including his ex-wife...not so easy to forgive. I am devastated. I am way better looking than his ex. People have always told him, "Wow! You're so lucky to have her compared to the first one." Plus, his ex cheated on him with his best friend & was physically abusive to him so...I can't imagine why it would be such a turn on to fantasize about her; the whole thing makes no sense to me. I wish another man could try to make sense of this or explain why my husband would do this to me. Even though my husband is doing well in healing from porn addiction, I am not doing well. I can't get his fantasy women out of my head, and I don't think I ever will. We live in a small town & I see some of these women almost every day. How can I heal from this pain?
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And there is a lot more to porn addiction than just porn. When my husband got help with porn addiction, he came clean about everything. Besides letting me know that he imagined himself having all kinds of sex with the women of porn, I also learned that he fantasized about some of my friends, some of my family members, some of our neighbors, women we saw or met out in public, and all of his past relationships, including his ex-wife. For example, if we were eating in a restaurant & ran into a woman he found attractive, he would fantasize about her with me sitting right next to him, and then go to the bathroom and masturbate with her on his mind. Most of the time he would lose his erection when he tried to be with me, but when he could perform, he usually imagined I was someone else like his ex-wife. Can you imagine just how hurtful this all was? I could forgive him for the porn. But for the times that he was deep into fantasy over all these real women, including his ex-wife...not so easy to forgive. I am devastated. I am way better looking than his ex. People have always told him, "Wow! You're so lucky to have her compared to the first one." Plus, his ex cheated on him with his best friend & was physically abusive to him so...I can't imagine why it would be such a turn on to fantasize about her; the whole thing makes no sense to me. I wish another man could try to make sense of this or explain why my husband would do this to me. Even though my husband is doing well in healing from porn addiction, I am not doing well. I can't get his fantasy women out of my head, and I don't think I ever will. We live in a small town & I see some of these women almost every day. How can I heal from this pain?
September 8, 2015 - 2:18pmThis Comment
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