My situation is exactly the same. He is my soulmate. We love each other and want to be together forever but...I have come to terms with the truth. He will never change. He has a sickness. Sex with me is like a chore for him. We do it about once a month now and only because I start to become cold and angry...I feel like he does it only to appease me and would never do it if he didn't have to.
Well, no more for me. I told him I can't have sex with him anymore because I feel that I'm forcing him. It's been 3 weeks and he hasn't even tried. I'm so depressed I'd kill myself if it wasn't for my kids. I feel worthless!!! Like trash! In this society a woman's value is her sexual appeal. Unfortunately!!! And I feel not worthy of even breathing anymore. I pretend like I'm asleep and feel him get out of the room with his phone and charger to go watch porn and masturbate for hours. And I cry for hours, my heart physically hurts with the pain.
He knows how it makes me feel. We have it all out in the open. He is trying to get me to go to therapy for my low self esteem but doesn't try to fix himself.
The other day I went through his phone and besides all the porn I saw he had posted on Craigslist. Looking for a one night stand. The subject of his post was: Life is too short!
Needless to say, I'm in agony. On one hand, I know that leaving him doesn't mean I won't find a man who is just the same. I don't trust any man anymore! They are all heartless when it comes to their dicks! At least this one loves me and treats me like a queen. Except, no sex...
I try to think that it's enough...But I can't help the way his actionsake me feel. Like I am no just ugly, but deformed. A shame an abomination.
I am so self conscious now. I am never comfortable always wondering and fearing that I'm grossing people out with my looks, specially him. I fear that I'm so disgusting he will leave me and no one else will want me.
I'm 38 now so... I know I don't deserve to want to be wanted and desired...So I should just give up on that and be happy at least I got a man that loves me. Until he falls in love with someone younger and sexier...
So I try to be pleasant. Keep him happy. Swallow my agony...As nothing can be done about it. Nothing! We've tried everything in the last 4 years. He will never feel that way about me. Only other women can make him feel that...It hurts so bad!!!!!!!!! But I will do my best to live with it.
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My situation is exactly the same. He is my soulmate. We love each other and want to be together forever but...I have come to terms with the truth. He will never change. He has a sickness. Sex with me is like a chore for him. We do it about once a month now and only because I start to become cold and angry...I feel like he does it only to appease me and would never do it if he didn't have to.
December 20, 2016 - 8:44pmWell, no more for me. I told him I can't have sex with him anymore because I feel that I'm forcing him. It's been 3 weeks and he hasn't even tried. I'm so depressed I'd kill myself if it wasn't for my kids. I feel worthless!!! Like trash! In this society a woman's value is her sexual appeal. Unfortunately!!! And I feel not worthy of even breathing anymore. I pretend like I'm asleep and feel him get out of the room with his phone and charger to go watch porn and masturbate for hours. And I cry for hours, my heart physically hurts with the pain.
He knows how it makes me feel. We have it all out in the open. He is trying to get me to go to therapy for my low self esteem but doesn't try to fix himself.
The other day I went through his phone and besides all the porn I saw he had posted on Craigslist. Looking for a one night stand. The subject of his post was: Life is too short!
Needless to say, I'm in agony. On one hand, I know that leaving him doesn't mean I won't find a man who is just the same. I don't trust any man anymore! They are all heartless when it comes to their dicks! At least this one loves me and treats me like a queen. Except, no sex...
I try to think that it's enough...But I can't help the way his actionsake me feel. Like I am no just ugly, but deformed. A shame an abomination.
I am so self conscious now. I am never comfortable always wondering and fearing that I'm grossing people out with my looks, specially him. I fear that I'm so disgusting he will leave me and no one else will want me.
I'm 38 now so... I know I don't deserve to want to be wanted and desired...So I should just give up on that and be happy at least I got a man that loves me. Until he falls in love with someone younger and sexier...
So I try to be pleasant. Keep him happy. Swallow my agony...As nothing can be done about it. Nothing! We've tried everything in the last 4 years. He will never feel that way about me. Only other women can make him feel that...It hurts so bad!!!!!!!!! But I will do my best to live with it.
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