I understand it might sound like making an excuse for dumping a man who does not meet all the criteria necessary to be a complete and happy woman but what if in other areas of life this is the partner to dream of?
Me myself is far from being a perfect person and he makes some efforts to handle my emotional bursts or severe pms symptoms and loves me for how I am. We always have a lot of fun together, complete understanding and harmony in a daily life, not to mention some minor fights. Our sex drive though is a complete mismatch, when I urge to have sex every day at my 33 years old and he needs it just once a week at his 26 years old!
We are living together for a year and the situation was always approx the Same from the start, not to mention porn addiction he had and shared with me. Then was the therapist who unrevealed the issue of mastubation/ porn addiction. It was so humiliating and a total disaster for me but I did my best to understand. About a month ago we have passed that addiction and my partner does not do it anymore and is even proud of it.
But sex is still jumpy: we have it’s like Rabbits for two days(normally those are hangover days, I think many ppl will understand me here), then few days zero attraction from his side. During those days Start to feel terrrible again, self esteem drops, etc. I’ve learnt from literature and my own experience that pushing a partner into sex is not good so I try to keep it for myself which is killing me every time we have a long sex pause (can be 2 to 4 days). In general, my partner is a real man, a gentleman and physically strong and following healthy way of life, thus, Testosterone levels can’t be an issue.
We have discussed our difference of course: his reasoning normally was “Overthinking, stress”.
In addition he is circumcised and his sensitivity is way lower then other guys, so might be his hand tight grip he got used to during his single years still takes a big space in his heart.
Sexual mismatch? Does this mean I have to choose between suffering all my life (as long as we are going to be together) and ending this story.
It can never be completely perfect with anyone unless we make it in our heads, I do understand. But my womanity, the chemistry in my brain and my hormonal system is hard to fool.
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I understand it might sound like making an excuse for dumping a man who does not meet all the criteria necessary to be a complete and happy woman but what if in other areas of life this is the partner to dream of?
Me myself is far from being a perfect person and he makes some efforts to handle my emotional bursts or severe pms symptoms and loves me for how I am. We always have a lot of fun together, complete understanding and harmony in a daily life, not to mention some minor fights. Our sex drive though is a complete mismatch, when I urge to have sex every day at my 33 years old and he needs it just once a week at his 26 years old!
We are living together for a year and the situation was always approx the Same from the start, not to mention porn addiction he had and shared with me. Then was the therapist who unrevealed the issue of mastubation/ porn addiction. It was so humiliating and a total disaster for me but I did my best to understand. About a month ago we have passed that addiction and my partner does not do it anymore and is even proud of it.
But sex is still jumpy: we have it’s like Rabbits for two days(normally those are hangover days, I think many ppl will understand me here), then few days zero attraction from his side. During those days Start to feel terrrible again, self esteem drops, etc. I’ve learnt from literature and my own experience that pushing a partner into sex is not good so I try to keep it for myself which is killing me every time we have a long sex pause (can be 2 to 4 days). In general, my partner is a real man, a gentleman and physically strong and following healthy way of life, thus, Testosterone levels can’t be an issue.
We have discussed our difference of course: his reasoning normally was “Overthinking, stress”.
In addition he is circumcised and his sensitivity is way lower then other guys, so might be his hand tight grip he got used to during his single years still takes a big space in his heart.
Sexual mismatch? Does this mean I have to choose between suffering all my life (as long as we are going to be together) and ending this story.
It can never be completely perfect with anyone unless we make it in our heads, I do understand. But my womanity, the chemistry in my brain and my hormonal system is hard to fool.
Please advise. Your point of view made sense.
November 14, 2017 - 8:10amThis Comment
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