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EmpowHER Guest

This is a great list. However, there is one tiny snag that really hits home for me.

You say women should never complain about their pregnancy to anyone, regardless if the listening ear is a woman trying to conceive or not. While I agree you shouldn't complain to someone who is trying to conceive... you should make such a grand "never ever" statement like that. Pregnancy can be hard, very hard, and a woman has a right to say so when it becomes overwhelming.
I had a rough pregnancy , but was told not to complain. I felt so isolated because my complaints were met with, "but you have a MIRACLE growing inside you!" and made to feel like I wasn't grateful enough. I was told that I was already starting off my journey as a mother in a bad mindset, and that I needed to "look on the bright side" more. While I was thankful for the miracle, I was struggling with very real complications that can come with pregnancy.
No one wanted I knew had ever experienced them, so I felt extremely isolated. This lead to a pretty bad depression during pregnancy that still brings me to tears over five years later. The depression got to the point that I could not get out of bed. I missed doctor appointments, work, and family events because I felt so deeply depressed. The guilt over my depression mixed with the lack of understanding while being told to just "cheer up" because I have such a precious gift to celebrate only made things worse. If it weren't for my husband begging me to talk to my doctor about it... I honestly don't know what would have happened.
So, I think the complaining should be done in caution, yes. It should be expressed with the knowledge that you do have a miracle... and should be screen to fall on ears that can listen without being hurt over the complaining. But to tell a woman she should never complain about anything pregnancy related can cause a whole different problem. One that can have serious consequences.

September 3, 2015 - 8:51am


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