Thank you for writing. You've really been through it. And even though you are grown and hopefully are able to stay away from the people who hurt you the damage doesn't just disappear, does it.
Once the truth appears, and you realize that is wasn't some fatal flaw in you but came from outside of you, relief may come and some light may dawn. But the question can linger -- I've grown up all wrong, how can I change things?
I think it is a long process, and it helps to be able to get hold of information and to have people to talk to.
But even when that may not be so available, the light you have seen will stay with you and if you are patient and kind to yourself, you may find that change -- in how you think, in what you do, in the types of people you open yourself to and the things you will now avoid -- will come. New opportunities can be handled in new ways. The past doesn't have to be your future.
Good luck to you:)