I get it. I really do. And to grow up knowing something was seriously wrong without knowing what it was, to have wondered or assumed that it's something wrong with you ... It's the life story of the NT child of Aspies.
I'm also astonished by the lack of information, articles, websites, forums for this community. Doing a search seems to bring up everything BUT this community that is starving for acknowledgement, for affirmation, for a little attention please.
It's not a lot, I know. But we are finally seeing a little in the last couple of years. Maybe it's going to take some NT kids starting a forum or writing a couple of books. I don't know what it will take or what we can do about it as a whole.
But NT kids can talk to people about what life has been like. Refuse to apologize, break with the past from some old unhealthy habits incurred by childhood training.
If an NT kid can see for themselves that there was not something wrong with them as children and begin to break out of the old constraints from there ... there is the opportunity for personal change.
Knowing what you know now about your own past and your father -- this can make a difference for you for the rest of your life. Hard work, but change can come.
I wish you the best!