Hello and thank you for choosing EmpowHer,
I am one of the moderators here at EmpowHer, and would love to give you some helpful advice on the matter you have described. I do want to say however, that EmpowHer does not offer long term therapy or life coaching. So my post will hopefully be a good jump start; but if you're looking for something long term you may want to see someone 3 or 4 times a month that can coach you through breaking the cycle.
I can speak to you from personal experience so I can definitely tell you what helped me! First of all, you need to alway start by looking at the root cause, and I can assure you, its NOT a love for sugar. In fact you probably hate the power it has over you.
The root is fear. You're afraid it will disappear and you won't get to enjoy it. You're afraid that you may never have the chance to eat something like that again in a long time. You're afraid of that feeling that you are somehow depriving yourself if you don't have it.
In order to break this cycle, you must face these fears first! How can you do that? Eat sweets with other people!!! This may seem counter productive and even scary, but like I said, I'm speaking from experience so I'll explain.
You have convinced yourself that eating sweets is a dirty, bad, horrible thing to do. That's why you would never do it in front of anyone. It's also associated with guilt and shame, which is another reason you don't eat it in front of anyone. You must change this perspective!
Eating sweets and wanting to eat sweets is normal. Whenever you watch from the side lines as people indulge in a chocolate fudge cake, while socializing, laughing and having a good time; you will, not only feel deprived but judgemental of them! How could they eat that? You might think. Then, because you want to make up for the fun you missed, you go eat your own fudge cake by yourself. Now you feel like a hypocrite and the shame creeps in. All this could've been avoided if you had simply eaten a piece of cake with everyone else. When you do that, you learn that its ok! You will feel happy, satisfied, and loved, which are the 3 things you are searching for when you binge on sweets alone. But you will never find it there, you will only feel guilt, shame, regret, and anger toward yourself. So, step #1 eat sweets with others!! This will break the need to binge, and you will have eaten 1 piece of cake, instead of the entire cake!
Now, Ill give you a more specific example of how you can be pro-active in changing this cycle. Remember, the goal is the break the fear of sugar and what it can do to you. So, here is one way to face your fear in a healthy way. Deliberately have an ice-cream date with your boyfriend or best-friend. There is absolutely nothing wrong with an ice-cream now and then. And its no shame to enjoy it with someone else! Afterwards you will feel satisfied, happy and loved. Over time, having sweets will be a pleasurable activity instead of a way to punish yourself. And that need to binge won't exist anymore, because you have given sweets the healthy and correct role in your life.
I hope this was helpful.
Lets us know if you have any more questions or concerns.
Faith
Comment Reply
Hello and thank you for choosing EmpowHer,
October 24, 2015 - 9:18amI am one of the moderators here at EmpowHer, and would love to give you some helpful advice on the matter you have described. I do want to say however, that EmpowHer does not offer long term therapy or life coaching. So my post will hopefully be a good jump start; but if you're looking for something long term you may want to see someone 3 or 4 times a month that can coach you through breaking the cycle.
I can speak to you from personal experience so I can definitely tell you what helped me! First of all, you need to alway start by looking at the root cause, and I can assure you, its NOT a love for sugar. In fact you probably hate the power it has over you.
The root is fear. You're afraid it will disappear and you won't get to enjoy it. You're afraid that you may never have the chance to eat something like that again in a long time. You're afraid of that feeling that you are somehow depriving yourself if you don't have it.
In order to break this cycle, you must face these fears first! How can you do that? Eat sweets with other people!!! This may seem counter productive and even scary, but like I said, I'm speaking from experience so I'll explain.
You have convinced yourself that eating sweets is a dirty, bad, horrible thing to do. That's why you would never do it in front of anyone. It's also associated with guilt and shame, which is another reason you don't eat it in front of anyone. You must change this perspective!
Eating sweets and wanting to eat sweets is normal. Whenever you watch from the side lines as people indulge in a chocolate fudge cake, while socializing, laughing and having a good time; you will, not only feel deprived but judgemental of them! How could they eat that? You might think. Then, because you want to make up for the fun you missed, you go eat your own fudge cake by yourself. Now you feel like a hypocrite and the shame creeps in. All this could've been avoided if you had simply eaten a piece of cake with everyone else. When you do that, you learn that its ok! You will feel happy, satisfied, and loved, which are the 3 things you are searching for when you binge on sweets alone. But you will never find it there, you will only feel guilt, shame, regret, and anger toward yourself. So, step #1 eat sweets with others!! This will break the need to binge, and you will have eaten 1 piece of cake, instead of the entire cake!
Now, Ill give you a more specific example of how you can be pro-active in changing this cycle. Remember, the goal is the break the fear of sugar and what it can do to you. So, here is one way to face your fear in a healthy way. Deliberately have an ice-cream date with your boyfriend or best-friend. There is absolutely nothing wrong with an ice-cream now and then. And its no shame to enjoy it with someone else! Afterwards you will feel satisfied, happy and loved. Over time, having sweets will be a pleasurable activity instead of a way to punish yourself. And that need to binge won't exist anymore, because you have given sweets the healthy and correct role in your life.
I hope this was helpful.
Lets us know if you have any more questions or concerns.
Faith
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