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Hello and welcome to EmpowHer,
I am so sorry to hear that your husband is not respecting your feelings on the topic of sex. You have every right to refuse sex if it frightens you!
First of all, when it comes to sex for women, intimacy and desire is everything. Since your husband is punishing you for not giving him sex, your feelings of desire for him have probably decreased even more! This will not help you have pleasurable sex with him.
Secondly, the vagina creates a thick lubricant when sexually aroused. This allows the vagina to be easily penetrated. If you are not properly aroused and lubricated your vagina be too small and dry for intercourse.
Lastly, I want to add that you are in control of your own sexuality. If you want to have pleasurable sex, I suggest that you start by learning about what arouses you. What kind of foreplay do you like?
If you don't know what gives you pleasure, how can your husband know?

Below I have pasted a link to a Her article that talks more about how sex works for women.
https://www.empowher.com/sex-amp-relationships/content/how-sex-works-women
Faith