Hello and welcome to Empower,
I'm so sorry to hear of your situation. I can understand how depressing and difficult your life must feel right now and I'd love to give you some advice.
Since your baby is coming very soon, there are a few things to consider. Do you believe you can leave your husband and find a comfortable living situation to have your baby in just one month? If so, you can try to leave your husband before the baby comes. However, I believe that it's little unrealistic if you do not have the funds, or a place already set up. You need to be relaxing and preparing for the baby during the last month of pregnancy, not trying to unroot your life.
With that said, I suggest that you hold on until the baby comes. After the baby is born, you will be very busy, and although you want to move on as soon as possible, you should go at the right pace for your children as well. Right now, you have a home and a certain measure of financial stability, that alone is worth staying with your husband for the time being.
After you feel healthy and the hectic days after having an infant slow down a bit, start creating an exit plan if your husband is still basically absent.
Do not tell your husband of your plans. First prepare where you will go. Decide if you want a divorce before or after leaving? Getting alimony will help you support your children on your own. Ask your family for suggestions. Are you ready to leave your husband or do you believe there is a solution? Keep in mind, that although your husband seems self-absorbed, it sounds like he really loves you and your daughter. The nature of his work however, will always keep him alway from you. So, in the end, if his behavior does change, you still have to face being without him most of the time. You must decided if you can live with that or not. Because whether you had kids or not, he would still go on tours.
Keep us posted through the process if you have any more questions.
All the best,
Faith
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Hello and welcome to Empower,
I'm so sorry to hear of your situation. I can understand how depressing and difficult your life must feel right now and I'd love to give you some advice.
Since your baby is coming very soon, there are a few things to consider. Do you believe you can leave your husband and find a comfortable living situation to have your baby in just one month? If so, you can try to leave your husband before the baby comes. However, I believe that it's little unrealistic if you do not have the funds, or a place already set up. You need to be relaxing and preparing for the baby during the last month of pregnancy, not trying to unroot your life.
With that said, I suggest that you hold on until the baby comes. After the baby is born, you will be very busy, and although you want to move on as soon as possible, you should go at the right pace for your children as well. Right now, you have a home and a certain measure of financial stability, that alone is worth staying with your husband for the time being.
After you feel healthy and the hectic days after having an infant slow down a bit, start creating an exit plan if your husband is still basically absent.
Do not tell your husband of your plans. First prepare where you will go. Decide if you want a divorce before or after leaving? Getting alimony will help you support your children on your own. Ask your family for suggestions. Are you ready to leave your husband or do you believe there is a solution? Keep in mind, that although your husband seems self-absorbed, it sounds like he really loves you and your daughter. The nature of his work however, will always keep him alway from you. So, in the end, if his behavior does change, you still have to face being without him most of the time. You must decided if you can live with that or not. Because whether you had kids or not, he would still go on tours.
Keep us posted through the process if you have any more questions.
June 5, 2016 - 12:08pmAll the best,
Faith
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