As young girls we are raised to evaluate & value who we are as individuals based only on our appearance. I have been dieting, purging, binge eating for decades. Now at 50 I am literally terrified of stepping any closer to that edge & falling into "nothingness"
I don't know "what or who" I'm supposed to be. I am still attractive. You know for my age.. Ugghh
very few men my own age are looking anymore. I've gone as far as putting sheer curtains over my mirrored closet doors.
I look, critique, crictize every line, spot, lump, bump.... I can get very depressed. My child is grown & has a family of his own. I love being a grandmother however I'm not ready to be shelved.
I began to really notice around 35 how less often men & women were noticing me. Men = not hot enough, women = not a threat. I never "abused" my appearance but neither did I use it for any advantages.
Now I'd almost KILL for multiple plastic surgeries.
I am who I am & I am learning or at least trying to put a healthy perspective on that. My outer shell has changed not my inner self.... Self B 4 beauty
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As young girls we are raised to evaluate & value who we are as individuals based only on our appearance. I have been dieting, purging, binge eating for decades. Now at 50 I am literally terrified of stepping any closer to that edge & falling into "nothingness"
July 9, 2016 - 2:26amI don't know "what or who" I'm supposed to be. I am still attractive. You know for my age.. Ugghh
very few men my own age are looking anymore. I've gone as far as putting sheer curtains over my mirrored closet doors.
I look, critique, crictize every line, spot, lump, bump.... I can get very depressed. My child is grown & has a family of his own. I love being a grandmother however I'm not ready to be shelved.
I began to really notice around 35 how less often men & women were noticing me. Men = not hot enough, women = not a threat. I never "abused" my appearance but neither did I use it for any advantages.
Now I'd almost KILL for multiple plastic surgeries.
I am who I am & I am learning or at least trying to put a healthy perspective on that. My outer shell has changed not my inner self.... Self B 4 beauty
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