Thank you for reaching out to us.
My mother went through something somewhat similar with my late father. He was very ill and she, like you, was doing her best to take care of everything. But in doing so, we found he was feeling helpless, angry, and depressed, all normal feelings when one is very ill and no longer able care for themselves as before. So while yes, the ill person should be grateful for all that is being done on their behalf, keep in mind it can also make them feel... useless and no longer in control of their life. That said, there is no excuse for abuse of any kind. Luckily, that was not our situation. I think you will know if that line is crossed. I used to tell my mother, put yourself in his situation. See the other side. Don't do everything, give back some control, if and when possible. And it did help some. Every situation is different, of course.
I wish you both well.