Thank you for writing and I'm sorry you are going through a difficult patch in your relationship.
We talk to many woman who give us a list of their size, eye color, hair color and general attractiveness to somehow show that it shouldn't be possible for them to not attract a male and believe me, one's looks are often the last reason.
Stop performing oral sex on a man who will not reciprocate and stop pottering around in sexy clothes and doing sex acts on yourself to attract him. That is beneath any woman and causes self-humiliation which is what's happening with you. This totally takes away any of your dignity. You're not a prostitute - there is more to you than sexy knickers and being blonde. Your boyfriend should be attracted to your mind, heart and soul and not just your body.
The only way you can know what's going on is to ask your boyfriend his thoughts about this. He knows you are doing everything to attract him, he's just ignoring it. Why - is a mystery. Tell him you miss your intimacy - that you want his physical and emotional love, just like any woman in a relationship. What he says and does will let you know more. It's a tough conversation to have but make it's a loving one and ask him to open up to you. Otherwise you will continue to self-blame which is not going to help at all. Some honest answers are needed from him. He does know what's going on - he's aware of everything but is avoiding the inevitable fall-out. Time to bring this out in the open.
Good luck and don't forget to love yourself first!
Susan
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Hello Anon
Thank you for writing and I'm sorry you are going through a difficult patch in your relationship.
We talk to many woman who give us a list of their size, eye color, hair color and general attractiveness to somehow show that it shouldn't be possible for them to not attract a male and believe me, one's looks are often the last reason.
Stop performing oral sex on a man who will not reciprocate and stop pottering around in sexy clothes and doing sex acts on yourself to attract him. That is beneath any woman and causes self-humiliation which is what's happening with you. This totally takes away any of your dignity. You're not a prostitute - there is more to you than sexy knickers and being blonde. Your boyfriend should be attracted to your mind, heart and soul and not just your body.
The only way you can know what's going on is to ask your boyfriend his thoughts about this. He knows you are doing everything to attract him, he's just ignoring it. Why - is a mystery. Tell him you miss your intimacy - that you want his physical and emotional love, just like any woman in a relationship. What he says and does will let you know more. It's a tough conversation to have but make it's a loving one and ask him to open up to you. Otherwise you will continue to self-blame which is not going to help at all. Some honest answers are needed from him. He does know what's going on - he's aware of everything but is avoiding the inevitable fall-out. Time to bring this out in the open.
September 5, 2017 - 3:04pmGood luck and don't forget to love yourself first!
Susan
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