Your post was so beautifully written - I was able to get a real sense of what you were going through and why you struggled to go back on antidepressants even though it was clear you should. I think you made the best decision for you and more should consider your path.
If you had diabetes or asthma or some other chronic condition you would not hesitate to take the appropriate medicines. Our mental health is just the same and just as important. I agree that you are not weak - just the opposite.
Thank you so much for sharing your story - it will help many of our readers.