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HERWriter Guide

Hello Anon

Thank you for writing.

When it comes to matters of the heart, it's hard to understand why some people's relationships are how they are. But your father is obviously a grown man in middle or older age and has chosen this woman as his partner. He has his own reasons that you may never know. You said "controlling and irritating" but you have not said in what way. You may not like her but your Dad seems to!

You don't have to like his girlfriend - they live far away, as you said, and if you interfere, you risk alienating your father.

When you visit, it may be best to stay at a local hotel and spend as much alone time with your Dad as you can. Chat on the phone as often as you can and definitely offer to have him for a visit (and hope girlfriend doesn't tag along!).

To surmise, there isn't anything that can be done unless you suspect some sort of abuse or crime is going on. Focus on your father and grin and bear the more difficult aspects. Your situation is pretty common - sometimes you have to just go with the flow.

Best,
Susan

August 21, 2019 - 10:51am

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