Thank you for writing to EmpowHER!
I'm sorry you've had to deal with both cancer and the aftermath/side effects of treatment. It's awful that a doctor who is supposed to help you chose to be rude and insulting instead. There are often a few bad apples in a good apple cart.
After radiation therapy in this area, vaginal tissue can become hard, tight and dry, making intercourse difficult and painful, or impossible for some. The vagina is very flexible and can stretch to a great extent (think of passing a baby through there!) and unfortunately, radiation can change the size and shape of it, including changing that great stretchy texture.
A vaginal dilator is often the first treatment, the same as you are doing. How long have you been using it? It can take months to allow increased movement in the vagina and for deeper penetration.
Did you meet with doctors to talk about removal of the scar tissue? You did not say. There is a scar tissue removal procedure called Fenton's Procedure. Is this what you discussed with these doctors? Can you tell us what they said or why they have declined to go ahead with it?
Let us know what you mean by the "construction" you discussed with them.
More information means we can help you further - don't lose hope. We look forward to hearing back from you.