Well you have many great questions!
I can completely empathize with the feeling left out, I suppose that throughout high school I have taken the time that most girls get to know others; and parts of them (haha), to get to know myself instead. When I started high school I had only lived in this town for one year, so I was still very new. My parents got divorced when I was very young so I never remembered them being together, neither of them waiting until they were older to have sex, my mom at 16 my dad at 14 and neither one of them had a very good experience. What I am getting at is, I guess I have always felt more comfortable and accepted for my decision to wait for the right person because it wasn't like sex or sexual feelings were ever a "no no" in my family. We can joke about, talk about, and laugh about sexual awkwardness or experiences so even if I wasn't having sex at a young age it wasn't like i wasn't aware or thinking of it. I did consider it a few times but knew I wasn't ready, and didn't want it with that person when I looked into my heart. Of course, living in a small town here there are STILL people who thinks I had sex with a guy who spread rumors, but you know what, who cares what they think? not me. I know I haven't
and I pride myself on being independent and accepting of everyone and everything.
On to question two,
I actually dealt with ladies today saying that " you can't change someone that is young and in love's mind" and "what I am looking for in a man now is going to change in 5 years" but what I believe is, life gives you things ( for me God does ) and if my getting married does turn out differently than I think it will, it is MY mistake to make, and it is completely okay to take that chance for love. I think you meant to ask if I decide to have sex after?(maybe) Well to me sex is something that you do when you are ready, and I feel that my boyfriend and I are ready for that in our relationship. Everyone and every situation is very different and should the taken in stride. Yes I am young, but also, yes I am in love and that it something that doesn't happen very often. I have also always been much more mature than anyone my age and I have a more worldly understanding of things having dealt with so much from my parents and their divorce; custody issues; ect.
3. Giving up your virginity and being sexual with someone is a gift because, every time you have sex with someone different you give away a part of yourself that you cannot get back. If you are in a committed or serious relationship and you think you are ready for that step I can completely understand wanting to know someone in that way. I think that boys and girls handle it relatively the same way but obviously in slightly different ways; i.e. one being emotionally open and the other normally being more closed off. I doubt most people view it as giving a gift but when you think about it, you are special and that is the most intimate way you can be with someone, and it truly is a gift.
And now for number 4.
For the most part I have answered this above but to reiterate, I completely understand wanting to be with your boyfriend sexually and that is fully your decision, many people choose this. I also believe that, like I stated, this is a special part of yourself that you share with someone that you don't get back, so you should be mindful of who you choose to share it with.
All in all, if you are in a healthy happy relationship and you feel you are ready, it is your decision.
Thanks for the questions!
Kadi
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Well you have many great questions!
April 10, 2008 - 6:09pmI can completely empathize with the feeling left out, I suppose that throughout high school I have taken the time that most girls get to know others; and parts of them (haha), to get to know myself instead. When I started high school I had only lived in this town for one year, so I was still very new. My parents got divorced when I was very young so I never remembered them being together, neither of them waiting until they were older to have sex, my mom at 16 my dad at 14 and neither one of them had a very good experience. What I am getting at is, I guess I have always felt more comfortable and accepted for my decision to wait for the right person because it wasn't like sex or sexual feelings were ever a "no no" in my family. We can joke about, talk about, and laugh about sexual awkwardness or experiences so even if I wasn't having sex at a young age it wasn't like i wasn't aware or thinking of it. I did consider it a few times but knew I wasn't ready, and didn't want it with that person when I looked into my heart. Of course, living in a small town here there are STILL people who thinks I had sex with a guy who spread rumors, but you know what, who cares what they think? not me. I know I haven't
and I pride myself on being independent and accepting of everyone and everything.
On to question two,
I actually dealt with ladies today saying that " you can't change someone that is young and in love's mind" and "what I am looking for in a man now is going to change in 5 years" but what I believe is, life gives you things ( for me God does ) and if my getting married does turn out differently than I think it will, it is MY mistake to make, and it is completely okay to take that chance for love. I think you meant to ask if I decide to have sex after?(maybe) Well to me sex is something that you do when you are ready, and I feel that my boyfriend and I are ready for that in our relationship. Everyone and every situation is very different and should the taken in stride. Yes I am young, but also, yes I am in love and that it something that doesn't happen very often. I have also always been much more mature than anyone my age and I have a more worldly understanding of things having dealt with so much from my parents and their divorce; custody issues; ect.
3. Giving up your virginity and being sexual with someone is a gift because, every time you have sex with someone different you give away a part of yourself that you cannot get back. If you are in a committed or serious relationship and you think you are ready for that step I can completely understand wanting to know someone in that way. I think that boys and girls handle it relatively the same way but obviously in slightly different ways; i.e. one being emotionally open and the other normally being more closed off. I doubt most people view it as giving a gift but when you think about it, you are special and that is the most intimate way you can be with someone, and it truly is a gift.
And now for number 4.
For the most part I have answered this above but to reiterate, I completely understand wanting to be with your boyfriend sexually and that is fully your decision, many people choose this. I also believe that, like I stated, this is a special part of yourself that you share with someone that you don't get back, so you should be mindful of who you choose to share it with.
All in all, if you are in a healthy happy relationship and you feel you are ready, it is your decision.
Thanks for the questions!
Kadi
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