hi!
I am so sorry that you don't feel like your husband listens to you; at the very least, it does not sound like a healthy relationship...at the very worst, it sounds like a relationship with emotional and mental abuse (as you described).
Abuse does not need to be physical to be abuse. Abuse happens in all forms, and are all devastating and soul-breaking. Abuse includes mental, emotional, sexual, social, financial, physical, etc. Abuse can be social isolation ("he is jealous when I go out with my friends"). You describe him as "paranoid"; can you describe this more?
The National Center on Domestic & Sexual Violence has THE BEST information...and it is positive and empowering...not just the "scary stuff". Please know that leaving an abusive situation takes some planning, as these are the times when abuse can escalate into physical violence (even if he has not physically harmed you in the past; the abuser often knows just the right amount of power and control needed for each situation).
There is an Equality Wheel, that may help you determine what you are looking for in a relationship, partnership and marriage. Read over this, and write back. Does your marriage contain these fundamental elements?
Also, the Power and Control Wheel is very useful in gauging what type of abuse is going on in your relationship. It helped me get out of a bad situation in a previous relationship 15+ years ago.
Another idea is to call your local Women's Shelter. You can talk with someone there about what specifically you are experiencing; it does not have to be all out physical fights for them to support you; mental and emotional abuse are not the ideal situation for you to be living with, day after day. There is no commitment to do anything about your situation when you call; they are a good "sounding board" from a 3rd party who cares and can listen.
If you are in a situation that you need immediate assistance, be sure to call 911 from a neighbor's house, or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (NDVH) at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Please look at the Power and Control Wheel, as well as the Equality Wheel, and tell us what you think; what helped and what didn't. We can continue being a "sounding board" for you, too! We'll be thinking about you!!
Comment Reply
hi!
I am so sorry that you don't feel like your husband listens to you; at the very least, it does not sound like a healthy relationship...at the very worst, it sounds like a relationship with emotional and mental abuse (as you described).
Abuse does not need to be physical to be abuse. Abuse happens in all forms, and are all devastating and soul-breaking. Abuse includes mental, emotional, sexual, social, financial, physical, etc. Abuse can be social isolation ("he is jealous when I go out with my friends"). You describe him as "paranoid"; can you describe this more?
The National Center on Domestic & Sexual Violence has THE BEST information...and it is positive and empowering...not just the "scary stuff". Please know that leaving an abusive situation takes some planning, as these are the times when abuse can escalate into physical violence (even if he has not physically harmed you in the past; the abuser often knows just the right amount of power and control needed for each situation).
There is an Equality Wheel, that may help you determine what you are looking for in a relationship, partnership and marriage. Read over this, and write back. Does your marriage contain these fundamental elements?
http://www.ncdsv.org/publications_wheel.html
(Scroll down to "Equality Wheel")
Also, the Power and Control Wheel is very useful in gauging what type of abuse is going on in your relationship. It helped me get out of a bad situation in a previous relationship 15+ years ago.
http://www.ncdsv.org/publications_wheel.html
(Scroll down to "Power and Control Wheel")
Another idea is to call your local Women's Shelter. You can talk with someone there about what specifically you are experiencing; it does not have to be all out physical fights for them to support you; mental and emotional abuse are not the ideal situation for you to be living with, day after day. There is no commitment to do anything about your situation when you call; they are a good "sounding board" from a 3rd party who cares and can listen.
To find one a Women's Shelter in your state, go to:
http://www.womenshealth.gov/Violence/state/
If you are in a situation that you need immediate assistance, be sure to call 911 from a neighbor's house, or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (NDVH) at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Please look at the Power and Control Wheel, as well as the Equality Wheel, and tell us what you think; what helped and what didn't. We can continue being a "sounding board" for you, too! We'll be thinking about you!!
May 22, 2008 - 1:17pmThis Comment
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