I hear where you are coming from! I'm there with you!
Actually, I'm in my 50s, but have the same types of problems with my husband. I really think it is common, from what I've read:
Some (if not many?) women do not reach orgasm with intercourse, for many reasons. The reasons that related to my situation include:
1) my dear husband not lasting long enough for me. On the rare occasion that he does, I don't know ahead of time that "this is THE opportunity" and then I feel like there is so much pressure for me to orgasm FOR HIM...not for ME!
2) clitoral stimulation just does not happen easily (if at all?) during intercourse. I've tried the "on top" position, and even that is tricky (and..ha ha...my husband lasts even LESS time!). The penis, unfortunately, is not "L" shaped for our clitoris.
So, since it was bothering me and not him (same as you!), I invested in a vibrator. There are so many kinds, and this one actually does not get in the way during intercourse. It includes a small plastic ring that fits over the penis, and then there are two tiny, tiny vibrating heads. This way, at least I have a chance of getting my right parts stimulated directly, and my husband says it feels good for him, too!
Anyways, I hope this isn't too much personal information, I just read your question and know what you are going through, and since you are non-judgmental about masturbating, I thought mentioning a vibrator would be OK. An added bonus...you can get them online, or even better, go into a sex shop...that is a scary, stimulating experience in and of itself! :-)
Comment Reply
I hear where you are coming from! I'm there with you!
Actually, I'm in my 50s, but have the same types of problems with my husband. I really think it is common, from what I've read:
Some (if not many?) women do not reach orgasm with intercourse, for many reasons. The reasons that related to my situation include:
1) my dear husband not lasting long enough for me. On the rare occasion that he does, I don't know ahead of time that "this is THE opportunity" and then I feel like there is so much pressure for me to orgasm FOR HIM...not for ME!
2) clitoral stimulation just does not happen easily (if at all?) during intercourse. I've tried the "on top" position, and even that is tricky (and..ha ha...my husband lasts even LESS time!). The penis, unfortunately, is not "L" shaped for our clitoris.
So, since it was bothering me and not him (same as you!), I invested in a vibrator. There are so many kinds, and this one actually does not get in the way during intercourse. It includes a small plastic ring that fits over the penis, and then there are two tiny, tiny vibrating heads. This way, at least I have a chance of getting my right parts stimulated directly, and my husband says it feels good for him, too!
Anyways, I hope this isn't too much personal information, I just read your question and know what you are going through, and since you are non-judgmental about masturbating, I thought mentioning a vibrator would be OK. An added bonus...you can get them online, or even better, go into a sex shop...that is a scary, stimulating experience in and of itself! :-)
Good luck!
June 1, 2008 - 7:15pmThis Comment
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