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Very interesting question. I would like to believe that my parenting was geared more toward teaching my children to be good people, rather than trying to manipulate them into fitting my pictures of perfection. I want kids to be kids, and that can be achieved without being uncontrollable brats. I have a habit of asking a lot of questions, and I did that with my kids:

why do you think this...
what do you think would...
what is the right thing...
what happens if...
how do you feel when...
is there any reason why...
etc.

I would get the biggest kick out of hearing my little guys turn tables on their peers with the same questions, hehe. I taught them to baffle, not battle.

Instead of "no," I would say, "wait!" I learned a trick from my parents: take the curiosity out of things by making them accessible (teaching them respect for your property, nice things, etc,).

I don't think I would see Alison as being at all lazy. I agree that consistency is very important in how you communicate with your kids.

If you want chaotic kids, raise them in a state of your own confusion.