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separate or together: same home, but in separate bedrooms

By September 20, 2010 - 12:56pm
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I wish I have some one to tell me how to manage such an awkward situation.
I can not divorce for I dont have $$$ to support myself (I m actually looking for a second job), and I have a little child, so I can not just get out. My family does not know...
Anyone having a similar situation?

Add a Comment3 Comments

Hi Gianna,
No matter how amicable a separation is, it still hurts. It sounds like you and your husband are taking a very "adult" perspective on it. Glad you talked all about it and are committed to finding a workable solution for every (and especially your child). You know they often are the ones who lose in family breakup, but with a lot of care and concern, you all will get through it for the better. Good luck and let us know if you need more support in the future. That's what we're here for, to inspire and promote each other to be strong women.
Again, good luck.

September 21, 2010 - 12:10pm

Hi Gianna,
I'm sorry you are having to deal with this no doubt stressful time in your life. Thank you for your question.
I have heard of people dong things like this. If your spouse is responsible, and mature, it could work. However, if they are abusive, or there is a risk of danger to you or your child, I would suggest you tell your story to a trusted friend or family member. They may have suggestions. If you don't have anyone to turn to, you could seek the help of a shelter in your area. They are very discreet, so you and your child will be protected from an angry or irrational spouse. If the marriage has gone bad, there may not be much use to trying to make a co-habitation work. It's your decision. With some work, and diligence, you can find a perfect solution for your needs. If you need help finding resources, let us know so you don't have to be stuck.
Good luck and let us know how you are doing.

September 20, 2010 - 1:29pm
(reply to Christine Jeffries)

Thank you very much Christine, Indeed I needed some friendly words. Don t worry for my safety, because my spouse is a very kind person and easy to co-habitate with.
I don t speak of it with my family because they tend to over-react.
You know once you speak bad about your husband, then you forgive, your family don t.
I think we could be great friends, but as the "chemistry" went out, we deserve to have a supportive and loving couple, and we can not expect to live all together (me, my boyfriend, and he and his girl...), so I just have to behave as a caring friend. We have spoke about all this, we agree on living separate and taking best decision for our kid. It s just that sometimes being discreet is so tiring.
Thank you for answering so soon. That means a huge support.

September 21, 2010 - 11:49am
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