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Hi once again. This is Dawn. I wanted to update on what was discovered.
The biopsy showed cancerous cells throughout the Uterine wall. They wanted to do surgery as soon as they found out but I asked them to wait until I was able to see my 1st grandson born which was due on Dec. 3rd. They weren't too pleased with my request but gave in. I had intended to travel to Texas to see y daughter Bobbi. Well,That didn't happen for we took a short trip locally at Thanksgiving which was about 3 hours driving ended up with me such extreme cramping that my husband said No Way. Glad he has common sense. :o)
Anyway, I had surgery done on the 13th. I was scared to death! I'm only 43 and though I had desired 1 more child for I remarried last February and we had discussed it... My husband loves my children. ( They are grown though) He got me a kitten. :o) And jokingly said, " Honey, since they're taking all your goody stuff... If you want... You can have a boob job next year. ( I like mine just how they are)
I will have the results back on the 26th for my doctor sent out whatever it was to the lab but he said he got everything! Just being extra cautious for I did fail to mention earlier in my post that I am in remission from CML. Have been for 14 months now.( A type of leukemia- But I look at it like... Hey! Of all leukemia's; If you're going to get it- this is the one that's best treated!) I take Gleevec daily and other than my checkups... Never give that much thought.
Whether of not I have to do radiation is unsure right now. But what IS IMPORTANT IS:
Though My pap was normal. ( which involves just the cervix) I knew my body and my doctor ( though he kept me on edge for what seemed like a lifetime) LISTENED TO ME and step by step- through elimination- found the answers and has been so wonderfully supportive.
He is not placing me on any HRT at this time. I am walking around well and after a week finally got food to stay down. :o) I'm not sure what to expect from all this for I am now in immediate menopause. Things like...
What changes will happen with my body?
Will sex still feel the same? ( I think my husband is worried on that one too)
What does a "hot flash" feel like?
Will I have them?
Why do I have NO appetite?
I have lost 14 pounds since surgery. I went in weighing 115. I now weigh 100lbs which I have been at that weight before. I am 5ft tall. Is it normal to lose like that?
These kind of questions are in my head.
Other than the gas pains from hell which have laid me out twice while shopping at Walmart this week (LOL- I actually had to lay down in aisle 5 and my husband wasn't sure whether to be scared or to laugh) and being more tired than I would like to be- which I'm hoping will go away soon enough for its been less than 2 weeks since surgery... I AM HERE!!!!
Dawn
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Dawn:
I'm so touched by your story. I am also touched by the posts you have received from the EmpowHer community. Congrats upon the arrival of your grandbaby. Your husband sounds like a GREAT support for you. I look forward to your next post.
Hang in there as we are all pulling for your speedy recovery,
Kelley
December 27, 2008 - 10:15amThis Comment
Dawn, thank you so much for posting your update.
When I read a story like yours, with such an upbeat attitude (even when you are scared), it makes me understand how people deal with and beat cancer every single day. You have faced so much already, and yet you seem very good at balancing your wants and needs with what your doctors want and need you to do. I think that's hard for many people to do, especially if they find out that they're dealing with cancerous cells.
I also had a good friend with a complete hysterectomy who went into immediate menopause. It took her a little while to get hot flashes but when she did, she said it felt like someone turned the heater on but that no one else in the room noticed. It's very common to be warm enough to sweat. I went through natural menopause and it seemed like I had night sweats occasionally for about two years before they went away entirely. Like Susan, I would wake up with wet jammies and wet sheets. Not fun!
Be kind to yourself and realize that as your hormones sort themselves out, you may have a lot of mood swings in the upcoming months. Your libido may indeed decrease a little -- mine did -- but it didn't go away entirely, it just settled into a different level.
Over time you may notice changes in your skin or hair -- hormones have a lot to do with these things as well. Skin gets a little less elastic, and hair can thin some. If moisturizer and lotion are not your best friends already, they will be!
I am very inspired that you listened to your body and your intuition. It's what we are all counseled to do so often, and you did it, and because you did, you helped track something down that might not have been found otherwise, at least for quite some time. Well done!!
All the best to you -- looking forward to your next update. And congrats on that grandbaby!!
December 25, 2008 - 6:55pmThis Comment
Thank you for the congrats on the grand baby. His name is Abel. (I'm getting used to the name. LOL Bobbi, my daughter and her husband wanted something biblical and wanted it to begin with an "A" and since Adam was already taken... Well,you know. Anyway, he is beautiful!
Now on to the main subject. I guess I'm venting a bit. My doctors office just called and asked how I was feeling. I told the nurse about the upset stomach thing that's still on going and the gas pains from hell. LOL We talked a bit about my weight loss and she said that Dr. Hazelbaker wants me to eat ... Toast, Bananas, No sugar anything... Oh and applesauce for a while. And to watch my urine outtake. As long as I was peeing... It would mean I wasn't dehydrated. I said I was peeing LOTS! Then she placed me on hold, went to speak to the doctor and after about 5 minutes she got back on the phone and told me there was an opening for tomorrow afternoon... could I come in for he wanted to not only check my weight but to discuss my labs results from the radical hysterectomy. It caught me off guard hearing that since I already have a scheduled appointment for the 6th.
What did I do? I chickened out. I told them I couldn't come tomorrow for Terry and I had plans to go out of town for New Years. She didn't really know what to say except... " Dawn, He'd REALLY like to see you tomorrow". "Are you sure you can't come?" I said in an upbeat tone... I will see you all on Tuesday. OK? She then said to promise her that if the upset stomach thing continued or if anything else came up like a fever or something during the weekend to immediately call. I said I would.
Terry (My husband) isn't very pleased with me. He asked me how I felt when she told me they wanted to talk about my lab reports. Truthfully, since she didn't tell me the results when I asked what they were... my heart skipped. Heck, on the original Pap... she told me it came back OK but since we now know it wasn't my Cervix... As for Terry. He said that I shouldn't have put it off. I told him that I NEEDED to ring in the New Year with laughter and optimism and if the reports aren't all that great... I will deal with it then. He thinks I am wrong. That I should find out why the doctor wants to discuss the results and that I should find out why my stomach is so upset.
It's only 6 days until I see the doctor again. Will 6 days make such a big difference physically? Emotionally... I just want to smile. To not have to deal with anything but positive stuff right now. OH, I can deal with anything if need be... But am I being too selfish to ...just for less than 1 week... Not worry about anything? To look upon 2009 with hope, determination and love. To end this crazy year not having doctors probe, discuss or give me what might be news I don't want to hear?
My analogy of thinking?
Hell... If the results that he wants to discuss with me show that I need radiation or chemo... My thoughts are... "Bring it on! I'll dance that "dance". And I WILL win the "competition". But for next 6 little days I want to wear "dancing shoes" before I put on my sneakers!
What would you all do?
With Warmest Regards,
December 30, 2008 - 3:33pmDawn
This Comment
First and foremost: Merry Christmas!
Thank you for answering many of my questions. I am so grateful.
Um, I do think I am having some night sweats. At first I thought maybe it was my electric blanket for this is my 1st year living in a cold climate for I moved here to Northern Ohio( right on Lake Erie) from South Florida. ( Husband lived here and once he saw how expensive Florida was- He went... " Darling. Let's move you here instead." LOL
However, I turned off the blanket and woke with a sweaty forehead anyway. That and the last few nights I've had trouble either getting to sleep or staying asleep. These things I'm taking in stride. Last night I decided to sleep " Commando style" as my friends call (In the buff) Now that helped until I had to go to the bathroom and it sure felt chilly getting out of bed to grab my robe. Brrrr. 70 degrees used to seem cold to me.
As for the sex thing. Um... Kind of embarrassing to try and explain this but...
I have had the craziest dreams the past 5 days! The doctor said not to do anything for at least 6 weeks which my husband totally understands and so do I but... In my dreams??? And they're not just dreams of me and my husband but I had one that included OK... REALLY embarrassing.. One with Johnny Depp and then one which involved my ex. Am I losing it here? I feel weird.
However... I still feel very blessed. Yes, it's been a heckuva year. First with the leukemia back in 2007; fighting that battle on my own for all my family was 1500 miles away and I didn't want to worry them to death so I kept "it cool" ; Yes, they were panicked but allowed me to do it my way and I got into remission as of March of this year!!! Yea! And then getting married to a wonderful man who understood and accepted the CML for what it is in Feb 2008... relocating my entire life, and the worse thing I ever experienced to date was then losing my precious Mother ( who was just 61 and had been married to my dad for 44 years) suddenly and very unexpectedly on my birthday this past August ... and the finale was discovering all of this...
Heck! I look at it this way... God must REALLY believe in me so I have no intention of letting him down by giving up now. My mom always said HE never gives you more than you can handle if you believe in yourself also.
But I will say this...
I hope this is it. I kind of need a break. :o)
Dawn
December 25, 2008 - 8:22pmThis Comment
First and foremost: Merry Christmas!
Thank you for answering many of my questions. I am so grateful.
Um, I do think I am having some night sweats. At first I thought maybe it was my electric blanket for this is my 1st year living in a cold climate for I moved here to Northern Ohio( right on Lake Erie) from South Florida. ( Husband lived here and once he saw how expensive Florida was- He went... " Darling. Let's move you here instead." LOL
However, I turned off the blanket and woke with a sweaty forehead anyway. That and the last few nights I've had trouble either getting to sleep or staying asleep. These things I'm taking in stride. Last night I decided to sleep " Commando style" as my friends call (In the buff) Now that helped until I had to go to the bathroom and it sure felt chilly getting out of bed to grab my robe. Brrrr. 70 degrees used to seem cold to me.
As for the sex thing. Um... Kind of embarrassing to try and explain this but...
I have had the craziest dreams the past 5 days! The doctor said not to do anything for at least 6 weeks which my husband totally understands and so do I but... In my dreams??? And they're not just dreams of me and my husband but I had one that included OK... REALLY embarrassing.. One with Johnny Depp and then one which involved my ex. Am I losing it here? I feel weird.
However... I still feel very blessed. Yes, it's been a heckuva year. First with the leukemia back in 2007; fighting that battle on my own for all my family was 1500 miles away and I didn't want to worry them to death so I kept "it cool" ; Yes, they were panicked but allowed me to do it my way and I got into remission as of March of this year!!! Yea! And then getting married to a wonderful man who understood and accepted the CML for what it is in Feb 2008... relocating my entire life, and the worse thing I ever experienced to date was then losing my precious Mother ( who was just 61 and had been married to my dad for 44 years) suddenly and very unexpectedly on my birthday this past August ... and the finale was discovering all of this...
Heck! I look at it this way... God must REALLY believe in me so I have no intention of letting him down by giving up now. My mom always said HE never gives you more than you can handle if you believe in yourself also.
But I will say this...
I hope this is it. I kind of need a break. :o)
Dawn
December 25, 2008 - 8:15pmThis Comment
Dawn, I'm in awe of your positive attitude and congratulations on having a wonderful support system in your husband and doctor. Have you discussed your weight loss with your doctor yet? Maybe when he shares the results with you on the 26th, you can mention it. In the meantime, I found some information on weight loss that you might find helpful The page will help you learn what to expect should your doctor decide to transition you onto a weight gain program.
With regard to the immediate menopause, in addition to the great information Susan provided you may find the following links helpful. Michelle King Robson, empowher's founder also found herself in immediate menopause at the age of 42 and a big part of what she experienced is from not knowing what to expect.
Michelle King Robson: From Jammies that Pull Moisture Away from your Skin, to Portable Air Conditioning Units & Cool
Menopause news
What are hot flashes
And for those who would like to read Dawn's original post, visit click here.
Dawn, please be sure to update us on what the doctor says. Thank you.
December 25, 2008 - 5:57amThis Comment