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In Menopause, Out Libido?

By EmpowHER
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Guest Blogger
Holly McCarthy

There’s a lot that women have to go through in their lifetimes – at first, it’s the burgeoning sense of womanhood where your body starts to undergo changes that signal the end of innocence, then you endure your monthly menstrual cycle with all its aches, discomfort and inconvenience, after which you move on to pregnancy and motherhood, one of the best (and worst) experiences there is, and finally you have to go through the agony of menopause, your body’s way of telling you that you’ve reached the end of your fertile years.

All these stages are accompanied by random hormonal changes, erratic mood swings and a host of physical and mental complaints. But a woman still stoically bears it all; until she reaches menopause, that is. Perhaps it’s the fact that you’re growing old, or even the truth that you’re not in the prime of your health anymore; whatever the reason, menopause is one of the hardest conditions a woman has to bear. It comes with numerous side-effects, one of which is the loss of libido.

You may find yourself less interested in sex and even the acts leading up to it, and this is because of the decrease in the level of estrogen in your blood. This is the hormone that’s responsible for making the vagina wet and keeping it lubricated during sexual intercourse, so when you’re at the menopause stage, it’s normal to find yourself lacking the will and the desire to have sex.

Besides, you’re also likely to suffer from mood swings, depression, hot flashes, insomnia, stress and other health complications that arise because of the medication you’re taking. These are factors that contribute to the decrease in your libido. And when you find yourself unable to enjoy sex like you used to, you may find that your anxiety grows and adds to your stress level. The problem is compounded by other factors too – you may start wondering if you’ve become too old to enjoy a passionate night with your loved one, or if you don’t look as beautiful as you used to because of the side effects of menopause.

There’s a way to get around these problems and enjoy the twilight of your life when your kids have all left the nest and you’re alone with your spouse – you need to be aware of menopause and its complications. When you are informed of the causes and reasons for feeling the way you do, you’re not likely to feel the stress. You can make educated efforts to improve your relationship, by not focusing on sex alone and working on the bonding factor and the emotional closeness you enjoyed during your courtship.

Menopause is an inevitable part of life if you’re a woman, so the best we can do is to understand this process and be ready to tackle it head on.

Add a Comment16 Comments

EmpowHER Guest

Why is it called MENopause? why is it HIMroids, HISterectomy, MENstrual???
See where I'm going with this?

November 5, 2009 - 9:49pm
(reply to Anonymous)

LOL, Anonymous! You make an awesome point! Thank you for making me laugh!

Actually, the words have their origin in the ancient languages:

I could spend some time here talking about the actual root words and their origins, but I kind of like your interpretation more. =)

November 6, 2009 - 9:41am
EmpowHER Guest

Maybe it's because I'm not quite "menopausal" but I've discovered that sexual intimacy is better now than it was when I was younger. Yes it takes longer to be aroused but the tenderness and the intimacy and the emotional quality of the relationship (all of which are incredibly good) make the experience so much better now.

October 22, 2009 - 2:55pm
EmpowHER Guest

A word of encouragement to my fellow menopausers. I am 50 and menopause is fast approaching. Insomnia and the infrequent period is the only symptom. I use natural neans to address these symptoms and utilize my alert awake hours to write on forums, pray and catch up on reports that need to be completed.
I treat this as I did the other phases of my life and so grateful to be alive to go through.

October 10, 2009 - 1:00pm
EmpowHER Guest

Well that was depressing. Im a 53 year old woman currently going through the menopause and I dont use medication at all. I use to get periods now I dont, big deal. This is not the experience of every woman I know but is also the experience of many of my friends. Maybe in Europe we treat menopause more as a natural and acceptable stage of life than as a medical conditon. Personally I think some of the depression etc that women feel is due to the time of life, children leaving the home and the realisation that one is getting older. Things that havent been looked at or dealt with in the past are suddenly unavoidable. Well now is the time to use the wisdom gathered over the years to face some of lifes truths and make decisions about where to go from here. Side effects like hot flushes can be eased with a little fan, sage drops or tea. Intercouse isnt the only way to have sex, try taking more time, more oral sex, use lubrication. My 74 year old aunt recently told me she still has a healthy sex life and shes single but pleasures herself at least twice a week. Believe me it isnt the end of the world its just another stage and you have survived so much, are so much wiser, enjoy your life .

October 10, 2009 - 5:25am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I love your honesty.. I have recently entered Menopause and I have not enjoyed it one bit BUT I do believe that it's because of how America handles this time of out lives.. It's not a disease , you are right .. It's just a different time ... Thank you so much for your comment because it did help me look at things differently..

October 7, 2010 - 6:24am
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