The Mom Factor
There are books and websites and television shows telling us all how wonderfully rewarding it is to be a stay at home mom. They gush about how lucky we are to be able to stay home with the kids all day. I am not here to argue either of those points, as they are both valid. I have never done anything more important or rewarding than raising my son. I miss him when I’m gone for the day and realize I am lucky to get to witness first hand all of his developments and achievements in these beginning years of his life. But guess what else I am …
For a long time I thought I was the only woman who felt overwhelmed by this kid thing. I searched the internet and read all the books I could find in hopes to find other women like myself; women who were pretty much winging this whole parenting thing. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t a “Bad Mom” just because I sometimes joked about putting duct tape over the mouth of my screaming child (I wasn’t going to actually do it). I wanted to find another woman out there who, for the 1st couple of weeks after her child was born, wasn’t completely sure she had a stronger bond with the dog she’d had for the last 6 years (it doesn’t really seem fair to kick him out of the bed just because there’s a new guy in town, you know?). It’s moments like those – when we question our abilities – that make us human. If you can say, with a straight face, that you have never wondered about a debarking type procedure for your precious toddler, I’d say you are a damn good liar.
Thanks for starting this group!
I read a book called, "I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids," by Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile. There are others from Ashworth about marriage, and mommy confessions. "Before I had kids" gives a really honest account of what motherhood is like today, and giving up those feelings of not being able to cut it as a 21st century mom. I found it particularly helpful having gone through PPD with my first, and feeling completely crazy for electing to have a second child. I work at home and send the boys to montessori school I need this for my sanity. I've learned to accept a lot of the sacrifice and guilt--that doesn't mean that I don't flop on the floor now and again and cry when they're both running like wild dogs and I can't get either one of them to listen to me, or sigh when I have to clean the upteenth pair of poop-stained underpants. My children are the most wonderful challenge I could've given myself. They crack me up, warm my heart, and leave me feeling inadequate daily. I know I am blessed in a lot of ways.
Another good book was "The Three Martini Playdate," by Christie Mellor. Anything that can make us laugh...
Absolutely. I can laugh at just about anything - and lord knows my kiddo gives me plenty of material. He's better than cable, for sure. I just wish there was a mute button on him every now and then ;).July 30, 2010 - 4:25pm