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Tips for Raising Successful Teenagers

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The Teen Years

The teen years pose a challenge for both adolescents and parents. An adolescent deals with hormonal changes and faces new complex issues of identity, peers, sexuality, drinking and drugs. The challenge may lead a teen to feel alone, angry or misunderstood. For parents, it is a time to reassess parental authority and former methods of discipline. The challenge of the teen years can leave parents feeling frustrated, frightened and helpless about the choices their teen is making. Here are tips to help parents raise successful, responsible and independent teenagers. Photo: Getty Images

Communicate with Your Child

Notice the times that your child is most likely to talk, maybe after school, and be available to listen. Let your child know that you care about what is happening in his life. Learn about your child’s interests and show interest in these activities. Set time aside each week for one on one activity with your teen. Begin conversations by sharing what you have been thinking about rather that starting the conversation with a question. Photo: Getty Images

Listen to Your Child

Sometimes, you must wait for your teen to initiate a conversation about what he is feeling. When this happens, stop what you are doing and really listen. Listen to his point of view, even if it is difficult to hear. Express interest without being intrusive and wait until he is finished talking before you respond. Repeat what you heard him say to ensure that you understood him correctly. Photo: Getty Images

Love Your Child Unconditionally

Recall the love you felt the first time you held your newborn child. You loved that infant unconditionally. To raise an independent, well-adjusted and successful teenager, you must love her unconditionally, regardless of her actions and qualities. Unconditional love will carry you and your teenager through life’s most difficult times. Photo: Getty Images

Watch for Negative Changes in Behavior

Spending more time with and confiding in peers is a normal part of adolescence. However, be concerned if your teen spends significantly more time with his friends and avoids family members, abandons long-time friends for new friends and expresses excessive hostility toward family members. Negative changes in behavior indicate something is wrong. Parents need to pay attention and determine the appropriate response or intervention. Photo: Getty Images

Be Aware of How Your Teen Interacts with Others

It is important to communicate with your child’s teachers, school administrators and adult leaders of extracurricular activities. You can tap into your teen’s thoughts, behavior and feelings that are expressed outside of the home. Be aware of any sources of concern. Photo: Getty Images

Be Alert to Negative Feelings of Self-Worth

A teen may express feelings of stress by saying negative things about himself. “No one likes me” and “I’m stupid” are examples of statements that a parent must listen to, try to understand what the teen is saying and determine whether this indicates a source of excessive stress. Photo: Getty Images

Make Home a Hassle-free Zone

Create a home environment that is a haven, free from stress and anxiety. Soften strong reactions, listen, talk and respect the others opinion. Acknowledge that it is okay to disagree and resist arguing who is right. Focus on your teen‘s feelings rather than your own during the conversation. Photo: Getty Images

Be a Positive Role Model

Our children learn by imitation and we are our child’s first teacher. Most often, your child will copy your response to anger, problem solving and coping with difficult situations. You need to assess your personal behavior and make appropriate changes if you expect to raise a successful teenager. Photo: Getty Images

Talk About Risks

Talk to your teen about risks, such as premarital sex, drugs, smoking, drinking and driving. Teens need to acknowledge the consequences of their actions. Openly discuss the risk of getting in the car with a drunk driver. Brainstorm together to find positive and safe solutions to potentially unsafe situations. Photo: Getty Images

Avoid Helicopter Parenting

A helicopter parent hovers closely over her child and pays extremely close attention to her child’s experiences and problems. Obsessed with the success and well-being of one’s child, the helicopter parent never allows that child to build resilience, problem solve and learn important life lessons from experience. Sources: American Psychology Association: Communication Tips for Parents Child Development Institute: Raising Successful Teenagers Article by Maryann Gromisch Photo: Getty Images

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