Thank you for the congrats on the grand baby. His name is Abel. (I'm getting used to the name. LOL Bobbi, my daughter and her husband wanted something biblical and wanted it to begin with an "A" and since Adam was already taken... Well,you know. Anyway, he is beautiful!
Now on to the main subject. I guess I'm venting a bit. My doctors office just called and asked how I was feeling. I told the nurse about the upset stomach thing that's still on going and the gas pains from hell. LOL We talked a bit about my weight loss and she said that Dr. Hazelbaker wants me to eat ... Toast, Bananas, No sugar anything... Oh and applesauce for a while. And to watch my urine outtake. As long as I was peeing... It would mean I wasn't dehydrated. I said I was peeing LOTS! Then she placed me on hold, went to speak to the doctor and after about 5 minutes she got back on the phone and told me there was an opening for tomorrow afternoon... could I come in for he wanted to not only check my weight but to discuss my labs results from the radical hysterectomy. It caught me off guard hearing that since I already have a scheduled appointment for the 6th.
What did I do? I chickened out. I told them I couldn't come tomorrow for Terry and I had plans to go out of town for New Years. She didn't really know what to say except... " Dawn, He'd REALLY like to see you tomorrow". "Are you sure you can't come?" I said in an upbeat tone... I will see you all on Tuesday. OK? She then said to promise her that if the upset stomach thing continued or if anything else came up like a fever or something during the weekend to immediately call. I said I would.
Terry (My husband) isn't very pleased with me. He asked me how I felt when she told me they wanted to talk about my lab reports. Truthfully, since she didn't tell me the results when I asked what they were... my heart skipped. Heck, on the original Pap... she told me it came back OK but since we now know it wasn't my Cervix... As for Terry. He said that I shouldn't have put it off. I told him that I NEEDED to ring in the New Year with laughter and optimism and if the reports aren't all that great... I will deal with it then. He thinks I am wrong. That I should find out why the doctor wants to discuss the results and that I should find out why my stomach is so upset.
It's only 6 days until I see the doctor again. Will 6 days make such a big difference physically? Emotionally... I just want to smile. To not have to deal with anything but positive stuff right now. OH, I can deal with anything if need be... But am I being too selfish to ...just for less than 1 week... Not worry about anything? To look upon 2009 with hope, determination and love. To end this crazy year not having doctors probe, discuss or give me what might be news I don't want to hear?
My analogy of thinking?
Hell... If the results that he wants to discuss with me show that I need radiation or chemo... My thoughts are... "Bring it on! I'll dance that "dance". And I WILL win the "competition". But for next 6 little days I want to wear "dancing shoes" before I put on my sneakers!
What would you all do?
With Warmest Regards,
Dawn