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Lab results after surgery...

By December 30, 2008 - 3:34pm
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Thank you for the congrats on the grand baby. His name is Abel. (I'm getting used to the name. LOL Bobbi, my daughter and her husband wanted something biblical and wanted it to begin with an "A" and since Adam was already taken... Well,you know. Anyway, he is beautiful!

Now on to the main subject. I guess I'm venting a bit. My doctors office just called and asked how I was feeling. I told the nurse about the upset stomach thing that's still on going and the gas pains from hell. LOL We talked a bit about my weight loss and she said that Dr. Hazelbaker wants me to eat ... Toast, Bananas, No sugar anything... Oh and applesauce for a while. And to watch my urine outtake. As long as I was peeing... It would mean I wasn't dehydrated. I said I was peeing LOTS! Then she placed me on hold, went to speak to the doctor and after about 5 minutes she got back on the phone and told me there was an opening for tomorrow afternoon... could I come in for he wanted to not only check my weight but to discuss my labs results from the radical hysterectomy. It caught me off guard hearing that since I already have a scheduled appointment for the 6th.

What did I do? I chickened out. I told them I couldn't come tomorrow for Terry and I had plans to go out of town for New Years. She didn't really know what to say except... " Dawn, He'd REALLY like to see you tomorrow". "Are you sure you can't come?" I said in an upbeat tone... I will see you all on Tuesday. OK? She then said to promise her that if the upset stomach thing continued or if anything else came up like a fever or something during the weekend to immediately call. I said I would.

Terry (My husband) isn't very pleased with me. He asked me how I felt when she told me they wanted to talk about my lab reports. Truthfully, since she didn't tell me the results when I asked what they were... my heart skipped. Heck, on the original Pap... she told me it came back OK but since we now know it wasn't my Cervix... As for Terry. He said that I shouldn't have put it off. I told him that I NEEDED to ring in the New Year with laughter and optimism and if the reports aren't all that great... I will deal with it then. He thinks I am wrong. That I should find out why the doctor wants to discuss the results and that I should find out why my stomach is so upset.

It's only 6 days until I see the doctor again. Will 6 days make such a big difference physically? Emotionally... I just want to smile. To not have to deal with anything but positive stuff right now. OH, I can deal with anything if need be... But am I being too selfish to ...just for less than 1 week... Not worry about anything? To look upon 2009 with hope, determination and love. To end this crazy year not having doctors probe, discuss or give me what might be news I don't want to hear?

My analogy of thinking?

Hell... If the results that he wants to discuss with me show that I need radiation or chemo... My thoughts are... "Bring it on! I'll dance that "dance". And I WILL win the "competition". But for next 6 little days I want to wear "dancing shoes" before I put on my sneakers!

What would you all do?

With Warmest Regards,

Add a Comment8 Comments

Dawn, I'm so glad you decided to go to the doctor, though I completely understand your first instinct to postpone it until your appointment next week. I'm not sure what time zone you're in, but I'm thinking about you this morning as you find out what's going on and what the next steps may be.

I agree with Virginia about your strong spirit and the resonance of your inner voice. I think that wanting to postpone your appointment was simply a matter of wanting to stay in control -- to not have your feelings of joy for the new year hijacked by something unknown. I would be the same way. But I would ultimately take the appointment, like you did, simply because I'd never be able to live through the six days of waiting without having it dominate my thoughts.

I hope that regardless of what you found out at the doctor's appointment that you dance with joy tonight to welcome in 2009. And from what we're learning about you, I'm betting on it.

December 31, 2008 - 10:09am
(reply to Diane Porter)

Hi Diane,

Well, I went. Sigh Sigh Sigh.

The great news is... I'm-a-going-dancing tonight! 2009 - HERE I COME!

The not so great but THAT'S OK news is...

I have to take chemo. The icky kind. ( Unlike the Gleevec I take for CML but the IV stuff. Wonder how bad THAT is?) Blah. Because of my history with the CML and because some of the cells tried to invade the lymph nodes near my pelvis ...

I look at it this way.

I figure at some point in the next few months I'm going to get to see what its like to be... A blond perhaps? Maybe a brunette. :o) Wigs come in all sort of colors, ya know!!!! I've been a redhead since the day I was born so why not be adventurous!

I have to be back to my doctor on Monday. They've given me some medication to ease the upset stomach which is a relief. I then see the oncologist on Tuesday to start my chemo.

All I can say...

AT Least it isn't diabetes!!!! (It runs in my family)

You see... Diabetes- though treatable...you're STUCK with. Besides I LIKE sugar in my coffee. ( and have an allergy to artificial sweetners)

Unlike Diabetes... Cancer and chemo? Not only treatable...But THIS I CAN beat. Piece 'O Cake!

And I Like cake!

Terry doesn't know yet. But when I have to tell him I intend to do so with an upbeat attitude for I know that if I show fear... He will FEEL fear. He deserves to have a wonderful night and so it shall be!

Well, I'm off to go get ready.
2009--- Here I come! Are ya ready???? Woohoo!!!!
( Going to keep telling myself that for a while! LOL)

PS. Any input on what this type of chemo will make me feel like?
Any advice on how to make it not so scary? I looked at some things about it and most of what I've read is...


( Is it true that if you put ice packs on your head the odds are one won't lose their hair???? Things like that.

December 31, 2008 - 11:55am

Absolutely! It makes not only sense but it is VERY healthy to think the way you do and NORMAL to feel the way you are feeling. Remember always that the body is just the shell that contains that wonderful being that is YOU. I heard once that the "real you" will manifest during the thoughest times. Your thoughts are energy and as such they will be your source of courage, faith and hope as you move forward in your life's journey. There are tons of scientific evidence now that makes it more acceptable the body's ability to "self-heal" from disease, emotional scars, etc. Norman Cousin's book "The Anatomy of Disease" is a great read. I hope you get a chance to get it and read it. Have a blessed New Year!

December 31, 2008 - 1:04am

I had to laugh for you're right.

I called the nurse tonight and told her I WILL BE THERE tomorrow @ 9 to see my doctor. She was relieved. She seems concerned about stomach thing. Anyway, Terry is relieved that I'm going. Not too sure what to expect but I gave it some thought and you're right... Regardless of the outcome... I'm going dancing. LOL Not too much for it's only been a little over 2 weeks since surgery but...

It's like this... I want to get dressed up to the nines. I don't know how to explain it. I feel a little empty inside. Oh wait! That's because they TOOK everything. HAHA

I want to....

To feel like a woman. To look pretty. Feel pretty. To not just feel feminine but to embrace it. To have my husband, when he sees me in an evening dress tomorrow night (One he's never seen that I once wore to the ballet in Florida--- It's a deep Burgundy velvet LOL) and the high heels that HE bought me when we first got married... look upon me with desire.

I have spent these past 2 weeks wearing mostly sweats for they didn't hurt the incision area and to be truthful... Putting on makeup or doing my hair like I normally do... was the last thing I've felt like doing. :o) Not that I looked bad or horrible but I have looked tired. Rightfully so but still.

I know he loves me so very much. Hell, at the hospital when they took out the catheter and I had to pee... It seemed every time I slowly made it to the bathroom and then back to bed... I had to pee again. Finally after the 3rd time in less than 1/2 hour I said " Oh baby. This is hurting so much to keep running back and forth! I need a break! Please just bring me the thing from the bathroom and let me pee here in the bed!

He did. That was a first for us both. He laughed and kissed me then disposed of the bedpan thingy.

As for tomorrow? I know I can handle whatever the doctor tells me. Heck, I thrive on challenges. :o)

But does this make sense?


December 31, 2008 - 12:03am

Dawn, from your postings I can tell you are already a VERY strong person and a fighter. I mean that as a compliment. So, I think knowing or not knowing this week will not change how you are and how you will handle the news today or tomorrow. So let's play some scenarios. You go in tomorrow and the doctor drops the bomb on you...Dawn's thinks: "The hell...I am not getting any treatment until I dance my heart off at my New Year Eve's party! I can visualize you, trust me!

I believe you are so strong that you will probably not let any bad news disrupt your nature and inner strength you have. So, here is the second option, you do not go to the doctor tomorrow and decide to wait until next week to get the results delivered to you...Here is Dawn again: "Ok, so even though I could be getting bad news next week, I am going to still have a great time at my New Year's Eve party and will not let any negative thoughts bother me"....I guess what I trying to tell you is that either way, you are the type of person with an incredible inner strength that it will not really matter what you decide. You already KNOW that in good or bad times your SELF is awesome and will beat anything. I am not worried about you. Doctors want to make sure that you have the results as soon as possible because they are legally liable to do so. Whether is tomorrow or in a week, the outcome will depend mostly on how you face the experience and the journey ahead.

If I were you, I would just get it over with vice consuming my energies wondering and spoiling any fun the New Year celebrations may bring...your spirit is positive, that is not going to change tomorrow or in a week from now. I wish you well and will send good energy your way....Blessings

December 30, 2008 - 9:58pm

Hi Dawn, I would go in tomorrow as well for the same reason I think Alison is referring to here -- which I think is peace of mind. One of our writers created a great article that may be helpful to you which you can read here. He's been there himself and is speaking from experience.

And again, just an opinion. Alison's right. We'll be thinking of you.

December 30, 2008 - 4:05pm
(reply to Tina Tran)

Well rats. LOL

Terry just informed me that all of a sudden he has to work 1/2 day tomorrow. I detect some " for your own good" undermining here going on.

So... His solution?

" Well darlin'. Since I have to work until 1... There's no reason you can't go on into the doctor's office and then we'll plan on heading out to Huron for the weekend."

Sneaky hubby I have. Can't help but love the man.

So I shall go in and see what the doctor has to say.



December 30, 2008 - 7:42pm


Since you asked, I think I would personally go in to see the doctor tomorrow. And, not so much for the lab results (as long as you are 100% sure there would be no significant physical changes within 6 days, or anything you would do differently with more information), but because of your conversation with the nurse regarding this weekend (and possible symptoms or emergency). I would be wondering if my stomach was getting worse, and would become a temporary hypochondriac thinking that I was getting a fever or something and would not be able to emotionally enjoy my New Year's Eve WITHOUT knowing. You can ring in the new year WITH information!

My reasoning is based on your statement regarding your phone conversation with the nurse (telling you that if your "upset stomach thing continued or if anything else came up like a fever or something during the weekend to immediately call.."); that worries me more than what the lab results say (because, as you said, you can't change the lab results and can't do anything about them at this moment, but you CAN change/prevent anything happening this weekend).

Just my two cents! Whatever you choose to do, have a happy New Year! And, best wishes with your lab results...we'll be thinking about you.

December 30, 2008 - 3:54pm
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