Another day begins with a walk to the closet to choose something to wear. My hot coffee steams in the mug that I am carrying. I stand inside the closet staring at my clothes as if I believe the choices may have changed since yesterday.
I have two sections, maternity clothes and my pre-pregnancy attire that I am convinced that I will fit back in someday. But today, neither are options that will fit. I close my eyes and take a sip of wonderful coffee and sign even louder than yesterday.
Most of the Moms that I know have the same thing in common and I call it post pregnancy body syndrome. This is the awareness that your body weight has shifted since giving birth and the desire to shed a little weight and tone up. For me, I felt like the more children I had, the more difficult the challenge to get back to the body that used to be mine. I am not sure why it is so surprising to me that I don’t look like I used to. When a woman’s body grows a person, it expands to an unbelievable size and then we expect it to return to its original condition. Even if all the pregnancy weight goes away, your body is never the same again.
We carry stretch marks, additional weight and a little extra cushion around our waist (which I refer to as the “Mommy Middle.”) After all that our bodies have been through, how could we not have these things to remind us? But in the back of our minds, we still long to slid back into those favorite jeans and finally come face to face with our bikinis.
I am exaggerating a little with the clothes situation. I do have some things that fit my body “as is” but I could be a good episode of “What Not To Wear.” As we all know, it is much more fun to shop when your clothes are too big than too small.
The shopping experience starts out well enough. I sing in the car the entire way to the mall. I nearly skip through the spacious hallways because A) I am shopping without kids and B) I anticipate all the great finds that are waiting for me. But after entering the first couple of stores and their full length mirrored dressing rooms, I am disappointed to find that I wear a size bigger than before and the clothes just aren’t looking that great. By now, I am starting to feel like buying a pretzel and calling it a day. There is also some force of gravity that pulls me into kids’ clothing stores even when I am suppose to be shopping for myself. Today, shopping is a miss for Mom.
As I struggle to regain that body that used to be mine, I know that I am not alone. Many other Mothers are struggling along with me. As I try to find the right formula to be successful, I know the road ahead will not be easy. But as Moms, shouldn’t we strive to feel our best? We deserve it.