I am a 49 women and I feel like I'm losing my mind more and more every year. I was first diagnosed with bi-polar disorder in 1993 after the murder of my sister. I didn't feel this was a fair diagnosis because of the trauma I was going through at the time so I refused medication. I checked into rehab in Feb 09 for alcohol addiction and so began the very painful decline in my mental health. Truthfully, it had been declining all along, but I medicated with alcohol to cope with the mood swings. Being sober and bipolar feels worst than being drunk and being bipolar. After getting out of treatment three other doctors confirmed the diagnoses of bi-polar, plus adding post traumatic stress disorder, anxiety disorder, bulimia nervosa, shopping addiction....and on and on. I am currently taking Risperidone, Prozak and Valproic Acid and continue to live on an emotional rollercoaster. Out of curiosity I Googled 'is bi-polar progressive' and didn't like what I found. Can anyone out there relate to my situation??? I am down to working three days per week and at that find it very hard to cope. I try to take things one day at a time but am nervous for my future and that of my family. I will be entering a mood disorders clinic on April 30 so I am hoping they can help me stabilize. Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.