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Bipolar, post traumatic stress and anxiety disorder, addiction; what next?

By Anonymous April 21, 2010 - 2:17pm
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I am a 49 women and I feel like I'm losing my mind more and more every year. I was first diagnosed with bi-polar disorder in 1993 after the murder of my sister. I didn't feel this was a fair diagnosis because of the trauma I was going through at the time so I refused medication. I checked into rehab in Feb 09 for alcohol addiction and so began the very painful decline in my mental health. Truthfully, it had been declining all along, but I medicated with alcohol to cope with the mood swings. Being sober and bipolar feels worst than being drunk and being bipolar. After getting out of treatment three other doctors confirmed the diagnoses of bi-polar, plus adding post traumatic stress disorder, anxiety disorder, bulimia nervosa, shopping addiction....and on and on. I am currently taking Risperidone, Prozak and Valproic Acid and continue to live on an emotional rollercoaster. Out of curiosity I Googled 'is bi-polar progressive' and didn't like what I found. Can anyone out there relate to my situation??? I am down to working three days per week and at that find it very hard to cope. I try to take things one day at a time but am nervous for my future and that of my family. I will be entering a mood disorders clinic on April 30 so I am hoping they can help me stabilize. Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.

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Hi Ladies,
Looking to see how the Mood Disorder Clinic went.

Anxiety, PTSD, depression... all here.

If you have not had your Vit. D and Iron levels checked (along w/thyroid), that's a must. Also, have you looked into the nutritional aspects for this, too (Omega 3d, dark leafies, cutting sugar, dairy, wheat, etc.) I had 5 docs pushing RX meds without checking the first two. When I had them checked (in the last year), both were severely low.

I went off all anti-d Rx... working on learning true nutritional eating... doing better than I was on antidepressents...have farther to go...
it's been a long 11 yr haul. Now I'm almost 50... how do I know what now is from aging vs 11 yrs ago (having these symptoms even tho younger). Blessings to us all.

November 16, 2010 - 1:42pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to MBQ)

Thanks for your words of wisdom - I agree, nutrition is plays a vital role in mental health.

As for the mood disorder clinic is really isn't a 'clinic' per se; but a psychiatrist who specialises in patients with mood disorders. I see this psychiatrist on a one-on-one-basis and she has done wonders for me. It took a long while for the right drugs and doses to truly make a difference but I'm finally feeling like I'm a head of the game now. I'm back to working full time, anxiety is much more manageable (not yet completely out of the woods yet though) and all other symptoms have all but disappeared. No more bulima (and I've lost 42 pounds since June), no more trouble with alcohol and the post traumic stress disorder seems to be under control. I'd say I've made great progress with the help of the right doctor.

Thanks to everyone who responded to my story.

November 17, 2010 - 6:30am

I can not imagine what pain you go through with the murder of your sister. Unimaginable.

But I would like to speak to you and discuss experiences as bi-polar. I have many issues going on right now.. several chronic pain syndromes, anxiety, fibro, terrible insomnia, the list goes on and on and I am not wanting to whine about it but come up with solutions.

If you are interested in talking, I can give you my yahoo messenger ID.
I don't have a very good support system, Feel the same-- like I'm on an emotional rollercoaster--I know I've got to get a therapist too, and perhaps medication changed or adjusted but the days get away from me.

Well, take care,
Rebecca M.

August 18, 2010 - 12:27am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Rebecca Merritt)

Thank you for your comments Rebecca, and yes, I would be interested in 'chatting' with you. I'm not familiar with Yahoo Messenger but I'm sure I can figure it out.


August 18, 2010 - 5:51am
(reply to Anonymous)

You can find me on yahoo messenger as beccamerri2.

I'd love to chat with you anytime you are available.


August 18, 2010 - 1:50pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Rebecca Merritt)

Its too bad we've never connect Rebecca - I hope you're doing well. We should set a date and time to connect on Yahoo. what time zone are you in? I'm usually available Tuesday, Thursday, Friday evening - but not too late as I go to bed pretty early. Weekends could work too - we could at least try to narrow a time down, if you're still interested.

Cheers, Cathy

November 17, 2010 - 6:35am
EmpowHER Guest

She has referred me to the mood disorder clinic where a fresh pair of eyes will be able to look at my case and I suspect try other medications. I have no information at this point about the mood disorder clinic; I'll find out more on the 30th. Over the years I have received counselling, especially at the time of my sister's death.
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July 6, 2010 - 4:27am

Thank you both, Diane and Pat. I find this forum extremely therapeutic. I look foward to future posts and feedback. The support I've received is overwhelming and I am so grateful.

Thank you,


June 3, 2010 - 11:45am
Expert HERWriter Guide Blogger

Oh Cathy, if only there was a "magic pill"...not just for you but for all of us. I'm glad to hear you sounding ready and determined to do the hard work ahead, that's a real plus. It also helps to have your doctor and case manager working with you and helping hold you accountable. All of this is great news from you, congratulations! You are welcome to keep in touch with us and use this thread as a way of staying on track in public. We're here to support you in your journey! Pat

June 1, 2010 - 6:00pm

Had a good visit today with the Doctor and my new case manager. After receiving a pound of humility, i discovered that I just have to do the things that I know make me feel better; exercise, acting, singing...getting out of my house and out of my head. I am scheduled twice a week fpr visiting doctor/case management worker so I have enough out-patient care to sustain me. I also have to get myself back into the AA program.

I have greatly increased the amount of coffee I drink making me extremely irritable so that is definatley something I can work on too.

Anyway, I guess I tend to run away from 'doing the work' cause its just so darn hard. Until they invent the magic fix-all pill I will have my work cut out for me :o)


June 1, 2010 - 5:43pm
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