My boyfriend and I have been getting over a 6 month rough spot. We've been together for 5 years now. There has been a period when I left for college that we mutually decided it should and would be best for us to break up. When I came back, I lost my home (my mother had kicked me out) so I went to live with him and his mother and his brother. I don't love him any less than I used to, but we DO frequently argue more. I think it may have to do with, A." His overworking, B. my overworking, C. the lack of going out and doing things that we'd both like to do together.
Things have gotten better as far as the rough spot goes, we're both more respectful of eachothers belongings, I am learning to let small things go (i.e dishes or household chores), and trying very hard to get back to being the independent woman that I used to be. However, he's said that he's confused about our relationship... and that he has changed a lot since I was put in the hospital a few months ago.... This took a HUGE toll on him as it was my mental health that was in question and I said to him I didn't care whether or not my wanting to die would hurt him, or anyone. I've apologized and the healing process takes time on both ends. Not to mention we're both at pivotal points in our lives. I feel that if we keep talking to eachother about our preferences, likes, dislikes, general thoughts, deep thoughts and give each other space and actually go out some more that this will work. He doesn't want to settle, and I do to an extent. I want to travel, but I have Cystic Fibrosis and Diabetes so having a home base would be good... Maybe I need to move out and get my own apartment for now. But, I'm afraid by doing that we'll only grow farther apart. But he seems to have negative thoughts and said to me last night that we're both changing so much and that one thing could be what ends us. One differentiating view. I understand this to an extent but also disagree. Having constant negative thoughts like that is likely to curb ones thinking to be negative towards us regularly. Am I wrong? What can I do? I don't want to lose him. There's so many thoughts I'm having! I want us to be good together, but if the negative thoughts continue, I think they'll end us. Should I tell him that?