Hi Iam now 61 and living in England. As a child I suffered sexual abuse and physical violence from a school teacher, which often involved oral sex, which as you would appreciate as a child of 12 is a very frightening experience. As a result of this I have spent over 30years of my life in torment and guilt. To this day I have nightmares and flashbacks. In the last four years I have also suffered auditory hallucinations on a daily basis, for which I am now on medication. Having sought professional help, I have been told to get a grip, and get over it by various Psychiatrists. I also have had several suicide attempts in recent years. Iam by no means a selfish person, its just that sometimes the pain is to much to bear. Its a very lonely world with a mental illness, and my heart goes out to people in a similar situation as mine.