10 Ways to Survive a Breakup

Surviving a breakup can sometimes feel like the end of the world. For some people it can even lead to depression, because it is so hard to do. So are there right or wrong things to do that will help you survive breaking up? Well Sudha Prathikanti, M.D., a psychiatrist at the University of California, San Francisco’s Osher Center for Integrative Medicine says yes.

Give yourself time to grieve

Breaking up brings a lot of feelings, so don’t be scared of them. Let your feelings flow, even if it it is sadness, fear or anger. “It's important to understand that breaking up can bring a kind of immediate grief that can overwhelm you. You need to accept your feelings and create time to grieve. There's no way to circumvent these feelings," Prathikanti says. "There's a certain time we all need to process grief. For some people it's shorter; for others, it's longer. You'll know the grieving period is over when you're able to look outward more easily instead of being preoccupied with your own thoughts." Photo: Getty Images

Write it out

Write in a journal or diary every night. Write good or bad things about your ex because it is a good coping method. “The act of writing gives you the freedom and the space to say whatever you want," she says. "Say everything you have to say. Then store your journal in a special box, or burn or bury the box.” "Do not send your journal to your ex! This is a symbolic release of letting go of that person. If you're not quite ready to release this person from your life, simply store the box and let go of it in some fashion when you're ready."

Clean it up

Clutter creates “emotional stickiness,” Prathikanti says, so cleaning helps you get rid of the clutter not only around you but inside you as well. "There's something about the external act of cleaning that allows for an internal cleansing, too. It's really amazing how it can help clear away the memories associated with the relationship. It's the idea of putting away all of the tangible reminders of your relationship — pictures, books, etc. — that really helps you feel you can clear away your connections with that person." Photo: Getty Images

Get physical

Going to the gym right after a breakup can be very difficult to do, and is probably the last thing on your list, but it is something that can really help. "It can have huge benefits as a mood lifter. Recent studies show that if you exercise at moderate intensity (reaching 60 to 70 percent of your maximum heart rate) five times a week, 30 minutes each time, it's as effective as an antidepressant — but you have to be consistent about it," she adds. "When you can get past that initial hurdle, you'll feel good because your body releases serotonin, which can be very mood-enhancing."

Spend time with your friends and by yourself

Prathkanti also says it is important to adopt personality traits from both introverts and extroverts. "Extroverts can talk on and on about their breakup. And in the process they can release feelings and gain new perspective, but they need to create a space for themselves to be on their own and reflect quietly," says Prathikanti. “Conversely, if you're an introvert, it's important not to hole up. "You need to recuperate and replenish your energy through solitude. But you also have to schedule some time that will put you in touch with others — whether it's dinner with your best friend or going to a church or community gathering instead of keeping to yourself," she says. Photo: Getty Images

Nurture yourself

Touch is one way to nurture yourself after a breakup. "It's so important. I recommend people get massages or trade a back rub or foot rub with a friend in a nonsexual way," Prathikanti says. "There's something very comforting about touch. We're almost hardwired to need touch, which releases endorphins and neurotransmitters like serotonin, all of which help to make you feel better physically and emotionally," she says.

Eat healthy foods

Eating foods that contain lots of omega-3 fatty acids, like flaxseed and walnuts, can help your mood turn from sour to pleasant. Also foods that contain folic acid and other B vitamins have shown to prevent depression. Prathkanti recommends also taking supplements, because getting all those nutrients through diet alone can be difficult. Photo: Getty Images

Maintain structure

Don’t lose sight of your life just because you broke up with someone. Sticking to your routine and staying involved in what interests you is one of the best ways to get over your breakup. It is also a great way to meet new people who you share an interest with. Photo: Getty Images

Believe in yourself

Write 10 good qualities about yourself and then stick them all over your house where you know you will be able to see them. Don’t forget that you are amazing and no one should make you feel bad about yourself because they don’t want to date you anymore.

Be grateful

When you know that the end is near (at least in terms of a mourning period) create a “gratitude” list of all the things you are grateful that you still have in your life. “It's critical to recognize that there are still things remaining and to remember what those things are because they will help carry you forward," Prathikanti says. Photo: Getty Images