Is It Love or Lust? How to Tell the Difference

Like Anastasia Steele of "Fifty Shades of Grey" or Carrie from "Sex and The City," we’ve all had our share of love and lust experiences. When you are being led by your loins or inexperience, it is hard to distinguish the difference between the two.

Most of the time, you might be flattered by the attention of an attractive individual which could immediately lead to the bedroom.

Some people are extremely vulnerable to lust because they mistake it for love. They like the idea of being in love, and quite frankly, some would rather enjoy the attention from a lust relationship than be alone. Sometimes this can be a recipe for disaster and heartache.

Lust is a deep physical attraction with goals of instant gratification. Love can also have an attraction, but that attraction is more than skin-deep.

Love wants to hold your hand when you feeling sick, and love runs out to buy you a burrito at 1 a.m. when you are pregnant and craving.

It is very easy to confuse love and lust, but at the same time there are some clear signs to distinguish the two intoxicating feelings. Here are some questions to ask about your relationship:

• Are you in it for the long haul? If you are thinking long term, it is probably love.

• What are you hoping to find? If you are looking for a nurturing experience, it might be love.

• Is it physical or emotional? If it is physical, it may be lust.

According to New York Times bestseller, Dr. Judith Orloff, there are some clear signs of love and lust. Here are her signs and indicators to help you identify which you're dealing with:

Signs of Love

• You want to get to meet his or her family and friends.

• He or she motivates you to be a better person.

• You want to spend quality time together other than sex.

• You want to honestly listen to each other’s feelings, make each other happy.

• You get lost in conversations and forget about the hours passing.

Signs of Lust

• You are lovers, but not friends.

• You’re interested in having sex, but not in having conversations.

• You’re totally focused on a person’s looks and body.

• You’d rather keep the relationship on a fantasy level, not discuss real feelings.

• You want to leave soon after sex rather than cuddling or sharing breakfast the next morning.

Love is a magical experience to be enjoyed by all. It is important to remember that love expands, and love is looking out for the best interest of the person, and this includes yourself.

Sources:

"The Differences Between Love and Lust." Tips to Identify the Difference Between Love and Lust by Judith Orloff, MD. Web. 12 Feb. 2015.
http://www.drjudithorloff.com/Free-Articles/Difference-Between-Love-and-Lust.htm

"Can You Tell the Difference Between Lust and Love?" Fox News Magazine. Web. 12 Feb. 2015.
http://magazine.foxnews.com/love/it-love-or-lust

Reviewed February 13, 2015
by Michele Blacksberg
Edited by Jody Smith

Tags:

• Sex & Relationships