Harley

I am a retired cop choosing to stay at home with my son. It's difficult for me to distinguish between which incident causes which, but I missed my job TERRIBLY - every aspect - to the point of depression. This independent Alpha female was suddenly dependent for the first time since pre-teens. When my son was 6 months old, I become pregnant with my daughter. I also had gestational diabetes with her, causing me to gain a great deal of weight, thus, a poor self image. The depression has never lifted, and I've aquired anxiety, panic attacks, (chronic pain from on-duty accident), Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, bi-polar depression and heaven knows what else. I'm a walking pharmacy. I honestly feel that I have never gotten rid of post partem depression after my daughter was born. I had no issues with my son. I don't know if I have it for life, or if these outside factors are the actual cause, or if it's all combined. Regardless, it's here to stay and I am learning to live with it - some days it's an up hill battle. But all will be well because I believe God does not give us more than He thinks we can handle.