When I was 14, I was misdiagnosed as bipolar. That was almost 30 years ago. Over the years, doctors just added medications because I didn't respond. A year ago I was on 11 different psychiatric medications. Then I went to a new doctor. Actually, she's a nurse practitioner. For the first time, someone took the time to listen to me and review my medical history. I've never had a manic episode, but doctors (all male) had told me that was because I was well-medicated. She thought it was because I wasn't bipolar. A year ago, I started going off medications one at a time.
It turns out that I have a serious problem with depression, but I'm not bipolar. Finally having the correct diagnosis gives me hope. And it makes me angry. I've been too drugged to live, work, and love for almost 30 years. Now I'm waking up and finding an empty world. My friends have naturally moved on without me. I'm trying to build a life and yet so horribly depressed that I can barely get out of bed most days.
It's going to take time to get off all the meds I don't need and find the ones that I do. In the meantime, I don't have insurance and I'm stuggling just to exist. I recently started psychotherapy and my analyst told me that he has another patient with a story similar to mine. How many of us are there who were drugged rather than treated? It's scary and I doubt it would have happened if I had been a man.