Wasting Away
I get overwhelmed when I try to write down my story. So, for now I will share the first poem I wrote, which has been published. It gives a lot of insight into my life as a child.
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Anorexia Is My Name©
Anorexia is my name…
Come along and play my game.
I’ll give you death…
I’ll give you fame.
You won’t be there to take the blame.
With me you’ll always be a child…
Sweet and tender, meek and mild.
I’ll show you how to be so small…
Then you can laugh and stand up tall.
I’ll be your friend until the end.
I’ll help your broken heart to mend.
Food will only make you weak,
So there’s no need for you to eat.
Your goal together we will meet,
And you will see life can be beat.
In me solace can be found.
I will never let you down.
A Child No More©
When I was three,
I came to be,
A child no more,
Just someone’s whore.
Forever lost, this child will be.
I must get out…where is the key?
He says I’m special, but I don’t know.
I wish that he would let me go.
In my face, he is so big.
I start to smother…
I close my eyes.
I leave my body…
I feel no pain.
All that’s left is just the stain.
Why did he choose me…
just to abuse me?
He killed my spirit.
I lost my innocence.
All you see is just a shell…
My inner child says not to tell...
About this hell inside of me.
All I want is to be free.
Oh little one,
I am so sad.
Please do believe that you’re not bad.
Some day I hope that you will see,
And strive to become all you can be.
~Sheila Major (pen name}
1980's (My 1st poem)
Anorexia Is My Name©
Anorexia is my name…
Come along and play my game.
I’ll give you death…
I’ll give you fame.
You won’t be there to take the blame.
With me you’ll always be a child…
Sweet and tender, meek and mild.
I’ll show you how to be so small…
Then you can laugh and stand up tall.
I’ll be your friend until the end.
I’ll help your broken heart to mend.
Food will only make you weak,
So there’s no need for you to eat.
Your goal together we will meet,
And you will see life can be beat.
In me solace can be found.
I will never let you down.
In me forevermore to hide.
Your time no longer you must bide.
Sweet death will come and you will see,
How easy it is to be set free.
~sheila major
10 Dec 1996
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