"Sex is natural
Sex is good
Not everybody does it
But everybody should."
So sang George Michael on his huge hit “I Want Your Sex.”
To deny sex, he said, is just plain unhealthy. But not everyone feels the same way. It’s hard to believe it, in an era where every newspaper, magazine and website is obsessed with sex. How much we have (or don’t), how good it is, and all the positives and negatives attached. But we’re not all having sex, of course. At least not with other people. Some of us are in between relationships, aren’t really bothered with sex right now, or are even in romantic relationships that have lost their mojo.
So what about those who choose a long period, or even a lifetime of celibacy (the term for chosen celibacy is Brahmacharya) ? Are they more spiritual, more connected to their inner core and less distracted by the drama that sexual relationships often offer up? Well, they certainly may be if they choose celibacy, according to many who advocate the practice. They believe that we humans have becomes slaves to sex (do they have a point?) and servants to our physical desires. Many groups who choose Brahmacharya as way of life use Eastern (often Indian - ironically the same country that gave us the Kama Sutra) techniques and belief systems.
According to a Hindu belief, the practice of Brahmacharya leads to Brahman – the permanent and all-consuming universal reality. In other words, nirvana- here on earth. Complications and earthly temptations and distractions are lifted and practitioners are free to experience true and pure life. Intimacy with self leads to ultimate contentment. Lest we think this whole concept is impossible or just plain silly – the age old tradition has indeed given genuine happiness to many of its followers- some of whom are devout for life. And it’s not all about spirituality either. Some choose celibacy simply as a preferred way of life, just as some choose sexual activity.
For those who don’t think this way of life is for them, there are many reasons to have as much sex as possible! Not only does it allow us a connection to our partner that is only shared between two people (using monogamous relationships as a comparison to Brahmacharya) but is good physical exercise. It’s also good for our minds – releasing chemicals like serotonin and dopamine in the brain, which are natural defense mechanisms against depression and anxiety. It leads to the birth of babies and allows men and women to nurture new life that in turn, extends the human race. Oh, and it feels great, too!
Most of us in the secular world choose a life that includes sexual activity. And true enough, it can lead to heartache, disease and more. But it can also offer happiness, intimacy and long-lasting connections.
We can all appreciate the belief that a celibate life can lead to a simplified life. But is it purer? Less selfish? Leading to a better understanding of spirituality? The jury might be out on that one. What’s your verdict?
For more information on the practice of Brahmacharya, click out the Divine Life Society here: http://www.dlshq.org/teachings/brahmacharya.htm
For more information on sex and sexuality, click our extensive EmpowHer section here : https://www.empowher.com/users/dr-marty-klein?page=2