Optimism can be difficult to achieve, especially with depression. However, learning to see the world in a positive way can be rewarding in most cases.
Debbie Swick, an associate director of education at the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania, defined optimism as “being able to see the possibilities and the positive side of things.”
She said women can learn to be more optimistic by being aware of the questions they ask themselves in any situation.
For example: ‘What am I seeing in this situation?’ Am I seeing ‘What can I learn from this?’ ‘What are the good things that have happened?’ ‘What are the possibilities here?’
“You usually go to the negative in everything that’s gone wrong instead of looking at the possibilities,” Swick said. “Women probably tend to overanalyze situations and look for every little thing that has occurred in something and they try to figure out the nuances of everything.”
Therefore, she said women do tend to ask a lot of questions about situations and experiences and “try to figure everything out.”
I know from personal experiences that this especially happens in dating and relationships. When a woman is unsure of how a man feels about her, she will in many cases pick out every action and behavior and try to find the meaning behind it to figure out if he likes her.
Instead, it could be better to think about how it doesn’t matter if he likes her. What matters is if she even likes him, and if she does, she needs to say something and communicate instead of driving herself crazy with overanalyzing. Of course, if the man is giving obvious signs that he isn’t attracted, like stating that in actual words, then move on and don’t give him another thought, unless you just want to be friends. Put more thought into finding the person who is right for you, if that’s what you want.
“If they approach it in a manner that is more helpful, then they can find the good in situations,” Swick said. “They can find the possibilities and they can turn the situation into something much better than they may have otherwise seen it as.”
However, she said “there’s a shadow side to everything,” and optimism is not always the best option. It’s about what can make the situation better, whether that’s through pessimism or optimism.
“If you don’t want something in your life, you need to say ‘I want an empty glass because those are things that I don’t want in my life,’” Swick said.
However, sometimes you want more good things in your life and want to see the glass as fuller, she said.
“I do think that there are times when optimism can be very helpful, but too much of anything is not always a good thing,” Swick said.
For example, one study featured in Science Daily showed that unrealistic optimism may lead to consumers spending more money unnecessarily because they believe they will act in an ideal way, like buying an expensive treadmill because they believe they will use it every day.
Unrealistic optimism can also lead to more risky behavior, like when college students are overly optimistic about not having as many side effects related to drinking alcohol, according to a study found in Science Daily.
Some benefits of optimism include less anxiety and stress, as well as better physical and mental health, she said.
“Stress can provide a lot of negativity to your mental health and to your physical health,” Swick said. “Sometimes optimism can alleviate that stress.”
Doing better at work, being able to see the possibilities, making better decisions and feeling better about yourself are other benefits, she said.
One study even found that optimism can boost the immune system.
She said Martin Seligman, a well-known positive psychologist she works with at the center, has found in his studies that “most people who are depressed are seeing things from a pessimistic outlook.”
“When you can start seeing things for what they really are, then there actually is a lot more optimism there,” Swick said. “I don’t think just being optimistic is going to cure all depression, but I do think that there have been scientific studies that show pessimism is related to depression.”
Sources:
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/11/081117110846.htm (Treadmill)
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/11/091117094941.htm (Risky behavior)
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/03/100323121757.htm (Immune system)