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Get a Little Optimism in Your Life

By HERWriter
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Optimism can be difficult to achieve, especially with depression. However, learning to see the world in a positive way can be rewarding in most cases.

Debbie Swick, an associate director of education at the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania, defined optimism as “being able to see the possibilities and the positive side of things.”

She said women can learn to be more optimistic by being aware of the questions they ask themselves in any situation.

For example: ‘What am I seeing in this situation?’ Am I seeing ‘What can I learn from this?’ ‘What are the good things that have happened?’ ‘What are the possibilities here?’

“You usually go to the negative in everything that’s gone wrong instead of looking at the possibilities,” Swick said. “Women probably tend to overanalyze situations and look for every little thing that has occurred in something and they try to figure out the nuances of everything.”

Therefore, she said women do tend to ask a lot of questions about situations and experiences and “try to figure everything out.”

I know from personal experiences that this especially happens in dating and relationships. When a woman is unsure of how a man feels about her, she will in many cases pick out every action and behavior and try to find the meaning behind it to figure out if he likes her.

Instead, it could be better to think about how it doesn’t matter if he likes her. What matters is if she even likes him, and if she does, she needs to say something and communicate instead of driving herself crazy with overanalyzing. Of course, if the man is giving obvious signs that he isn’t attracted, like stating that in actual words, then move on and don’t give him another thought, unless you just want to be friends. Put more thought into finding the person who is right for you, if that’s what you want.

“If they approach it in a manner that is more helpful, then they can find the good in situations,” Swick said. “They can find the possibilities and they can turn the situation into something much better than they may have otherwise seen it as.”

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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

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