Anna discusses how she felt about herself before she had gastric bypass surgery.
I think before the surgery I beat myself up in many ways, just many ways – mentally we tell ourselves tapes, right? Whether those tapes are true for us, for me they were my truth. I would feed the cycle of I am overweight. Wow, I am depressed. I need to go and have myself an ice cream. Wow, I am really happy I am having a good day. I need to go out and celebrate and let’s go get something to eat.
Emotional eating, and for me when I clocked in at my highest there was a certain despair that you have and kind of why not? Why not, you know? And it’s self-destructive, you know, but there was nothing to ring me in. Let’s just see how far I am going to take this, right?
I mean I had some bad days and some bad moments, you know. One of the ways I would beat myself up is, sometimes it’s very subtle. It’s just, well that’s what you get, Anna, you know, kind of just if I made a mistake or I did something that I thought was stupid, just the tapes I would play in my head, oh well see that what you get? See, what do you expect? That’s, there you go. You deserve that. I almost like felt I deserved whatever came to me as a result for being overweight, you know.
Condition: Obesity, Morbid Obesity, Weight Loss, Morbidly Obese
Related Terms: Weight Loss, Bariatric Surgery, Gastric Bypass Surgery, Self-Image, Self-Esteem, Comorbidities, Dramatic Weight Reduction