Hi Padupriya,
Thank you for your question and for joining EmpowHER. Would you be willing to talk with a doctor about your fear of sex? They may be able to help you, or refer you to a therapist who could help you get to the bottom of why you are so fearful of the perceived pain. I can tell you from experience that sex can be quite enjoyable if you relax and let yourself go--get into the moment, and don't think about any pain. Just think of the togetherness with your husband, and how much you love him. You also can use aids like a water-based lubricant to help make things less abrasive. Another idea, you may want to try being on top, that way you are in control, and can ease yourself into the penetration at your speed, rather than waiting for him to do it and anticipating. Your husband also may love you taking control. :)
A doctor, though, would be your best resource for suggestions and medical information. Also, open communication with your husband will help strengthen your bond with him, and help those moments when you are intimate to be really enjoyable. You owe it to yourself, and the health of your marriage to get this taken care of. Take control, and see if you can get past this. I think you will be amazed and wonder why you took so long to do something about it once you get over this hurdle.
Good luck, and let us know how you're doing.
Here is a similar ASK that may provide some insight: How to Remove Fear of Pain of First Intercourse?
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Hi Padupriya,
March 28, 2011 - 6:34amThank you for your question and for joining EmpowHER. Would you be willing to talk with a doctor about your fear of sex? They may be able to help you, or refer you to a therapist who could help you get to the bottom of why you are so fearful of the perceived pain. I can tell you from experience that sex can be quite enjoyable if you relax and let yourself go--get into the moment, and don't think about any pain. Just think of the togetherness with your husband, and how much you love him. You also can use aids like a water-based lubricant to help make things less abrasive. Another idea, you may want to try being on top, that way you are in control, and can ease yourself into the penetration at your speed, rather than waiting for him to do it and anticipating. Your husband also may love you taking control. :)
A doctor, though, would be your best resource for suggestions and medical information. Also, open communication with your husband will help strengthen your bond with him, and help those moments when you are intimate to be really enjoyable. You owe it to yourself, and the health of your marriage to get this taken care of. Take control, and see if you can get past this. I think you will be amazed and wonder why you took so long to do something about it once you get over this hurdle.
Good luck, and let us know how you're doing.
Here is a similar ASK that may provide some insight: How to Remove Fear of Pain of First Intercourse?
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