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8 year old with Asperger is it better for him to be raised alone or in a bigger family

By April 28, 2010 - 7:39am
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We are heading to court for custody of my step-son. He might have Asperger Syndrome and we are trying to find arguments that would weigh in court between him living a life alone with mom, in school where no full time services are available for special needs children, too many video games, no steady rules, living in small appartment in town and living with us in a structured family environment, 3 siblings ages 2, 9 and 11, 3 cats, 1 dog a house in the country. We have a school with 4 special educators and a special class as well but the child custody would have to change from 50%/50% to all weeks with us and arrangements with mom on weekends and holidays. He loves both parents equally but right now he needs a structured environment before things get worst. Any legal pointers or suugestions?

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EmpowHER Guest

As a mother of an autistic child, temper tantrums and executive function issues can make things look as if the parents are not structured. The child should be provided for and stay with the mother if possible it seems dangerous to have an us against them attitude when a child has a disability. Why is the father in a big home and the mother in an apartment seems that she needs a child support attorney.

September 3, 2011 - 1:43pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

The mother has been on welfare since the age of 19 (legal age in Ontario) and has never made efforts to find work while still sending the child to full time daycare as welfare provides the service for free. As for the father, he makes the same amount she does and this working full time at minimum wage, but I am the one making the big salary and in Ontario a new spouse's salary cannot be taken into account for child support, reason for the big home and car. I have worked all my life to support my family (I have 3 other children). I work in an attorney's office and here in Canada if the mother does not try to take herself off welfare (she has no disabilities and has her GED) and earn a decent living to support her child judges will not be sympathetic to the fact that she lives in a small apartment with no transportation so a child support attorney can't do anything. He needs specialized school educators, a regular psychological follow-up (all these are free to the mother through welfare) but we still pay (the father and I) since she won't make the effort to take the necessary steps. Right now she is trying to go through governmental channels to get him declared a disabled child so she can get the extra $10,000 a year. The father said she can't keep the money but does not believe his son is disabled, just needs a little bit of extra help.

September 3, 2011 - 4:02pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Made a mistake previously: the father says that the mother CAN keep the disability money if so declared but after doing some research it won't happen since he functions as a normal child at 90%. Parents need to set an example for the children in the future and get all the available services for them to grow up healthy and well supported, unfortunately some parents are selfish.

September 4, 2011 - 7:34am

The child was acting violently, getting into sudden rages and pushing book shelves to the ground or breaking toys at the daycare. We are located in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. There are many options for care and support but the mother just won't make the effort.

April 29, 2010 - 6:08am

Mediation was already tried last year and was unsuccessful and had to be decided by a judge. A temporary order was to leave him in the same school but with certain conditions such as improvement, french tutoring and no incidents of violent nature. None were respected. We do not want to take him away from his mother, he loves her very much and even if she is very selfish towards the needs of her son she doesn't esactly pose a threat, just a lack of special care, but it is the only option since the specialized school is close to our home and we live 50 km away and the mother has no means of transportation. It's not a battle for HAVING the child, it's a battle to get him what he needs at this point in life before things get out of control.

April 28, 2010 - 12:47pm
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