Am I in an emotionally abusive relationship?

By Anonymous October 15, 2017 - 4:47am

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I have been married for 15 years and have had ongoing challenges with my marriage. For a number of years I thought it was just usual disagreements, but I have for at least the last 3 or 4 years felt it is more than this. My husband has huge outbursts usually at very small issues, but always blames me for starting them, usually if I have asked him to empty the kitchen sink, or said I was disappointed if he didn't do something he was going to do i.e. put the dishwasher on. Yesterday I said I was annoyed at him leaving an empty bottle in the lounge and he completely went off at me in front of my son, saying that he was going to go to bed and I had ruined the evening. The thing that upsets me the most is that he will do it in front of our children and I am hugely concerned about the impact on them, as I feel they tiptoe around him too, but he doesn't notice this. Is it my fault for mentioning things that he says are criticisms (which I think are usual married conversations) and do I start these fights? The risk is that I never say anything and let things irritate me, but am too scared to mention because of his outbursts. It sounds like a silly issue, but I feel it will end our marriage. Have you got any advice please?

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Helena Guide

Hello. Thank you for posting.

I'm sorry you are going through this. I'm of the mind that life is too short and being in a bad relationship is wasting life. If a person is not willing (or able) to change, you have to think of yourself and your life.

We have a very active thread about this subject. The link is below. Here you can read others comments, hear similar stories and share your own if you like.

https://www.empowher.com/mental-health/content/emotional-abuse-invisible-marriage-killer

Helena

October 15, 2017 - 6:33am