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boyfriend emotionally unavailable, what to do?

By Anonymous November 2, 2012 - 4:22am
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Me and my bf have been together for 2 years. We both study at university so time is precious. The last month or so he has been so emotionally unavailable that i dont know what to do. We never do anything fun together, except watchseries or movies... I have been in such a deppresiin the last few weeks because its all the stress of exams, losing weighy for december, dobt have time for friwnds and family and now the one person that is suppose to understand, doesnt. What do i do?? He is making me desperate for attention, i dobt like being so deppresed and pathetic.

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Sorry this is happening to you, but rest assured, you can get through it. My advise to you would be:
1) Tell him exactly how you feel. If you can do so without anger, judgement, or becoming overly emotional that's best.
2) Tell him what you want to see happen. In other words, give him concrete actions he or you both can take to resolve your concern.
3) Once you've done that, back off! If he cares about you as much as you care about him, he will make an effort to easy your concern.

Be prepared to accept that he may not rise to the cause. If he disappoints, YOU have to decide to stay in it or move on. It's your choice and you alone are the best to determine what's best for your situation.

Sure, he may be going through something and you can take that into consideration. Maybe a break, short or long term is in order? Two years is a long time to have invested your time, love, and feelings into someone who is acting inconsiderate of your feelings and ungrateful to have you.

You're smart, caring, and beautiful! Follow your intuition and know that you have options. And those options will be good with or without him.

November 5, 2012 - 1:43pm
EmpowHER Guest
Hi Anon, You might need to see a therapist, that can help him understand how you feel and the affects on the relationship. Best, DaisyNovember 2, 2012 - 7:06am
EmpowHER Guest

Hi Anon,

Welcome to EmpowHER.  I think the most important thing of a relationship is communication,  It's important to let him know how you feel and together come to an agreement to find time for each other or together you might agree on seeking help from a therapist. 

Best of luck,


November 2, 2012 - 4:41am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Hi daisy! We have talked so many times... The comminication ploblem is just wortsening. Talking leads to fighting and crying. He doesnt realise that he is THAT emotiobally unavailable.

November 2, 2012 - 4:47am
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