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Boyfriend not interested in sex

By March 17, 2010 - 10:23pm
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I am 36 and have been seeing a guy that I really like for about 8 months. It wasn't until between Thanksgiving and Christmas that we first had sex. It is like he is not even interested at all. He has had a lot of personal drama since then so I keep telling myself that he is just trying to get himself together, but know I am really getting concerened. I ended up staying with him at his boat for about 2 weeks and we did not have sex even once.He is 47 but I don't think that is the deal. When we are out in public, he is all over me but he just doesnt want to have sex. I have tried to talk to him obout it and he said that he did not want a relationship based totally on sex which I completely agree with but there has to be some happy medium.I am wondering if he has an Erictile Dsfunction or if he is gay or something? The latter is hard to believe because when he kisses me I melt and yes my knees turn to jellow just like in books. I really like this guy and could see mysel with him for a long time if I could just figure out the sex thing. I am not sure if it all his personal drama or if he is just not into me? Any comments or suggestions would be great.

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EmpowHER Guest

Im going through the same sort of thing with my boyfriend i no its hard but sometimes i think they simple arn't intrested. If i was you i would just ask him it might not be the answer you want to hear but then at least you know. i asked my boyfriend and now i no what im dealing with.

April 16, 2010 - 5:49am


Thank you for your post. I think you may be onto something... he is 47 which does not make him old by any means but when some men reach a certain age, things happen to their bodies. He could have a lower libido than he did some years ago, ED is a possibility, or he may have some other condition.

Speak to him clearly and openly if you really want the answer-- ask: I know you don't want a relationship based purely on sex and neither do I, but no sex in the two weeks I was on your boat-- what gives?
Make sure you don't bring up ED or anything that may be offensive. Just make sure you let him know you care about him, want the relationship to work out, but he needs to be honest as far as why he seems so disinterested in sex-- no matter what the truth is.

Personal drama will keep you from having sex for only so long. A man is a man... and when he completely closes off sex then there is something else going on.

Best Wishes.

March 19, 2010 - 5:44am
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