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does it make me stupid if i want to take him back?

By December 18, 2015 - 3:19am
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i had an argument with my boyfriend whom i have spent 5 years with. we've been in an emotional roller coaster recently which led to a separation of about 3 months but we kind of got back together until last week when i received a call from his other girlfriend telling me to stop texting him with a confirmation from himself! i was quite shocked yet not so suprised because i knew he was moving out with some other girl when we got separated and i suspected that he still had something going on with her even after we started talking again and him claiming that they no longer talk. so, here i am, in a dilemma, a part of me is telling me to fight for what we had and not let someone destroy it jus like that and a part of me is telling me to let go. what's really holding me back is that we have been together for a long time now and in that time we have had a number of arguments where i have been in the wrong but he would still come back to me. we know each others flaws and we've been through a lot of tests but we still found a way back to each other and we are like lovers and best friends at the same time so i feel its just another storm and i should fight for it. BUT then sometimes i feel i should just give it up and move on with my life. i really need some advise, coz i kind of feel stupid having this feeling of wanting him back after all that has happened, HELP PLIZ...

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Okay, first of all let me point out that you have been a "girlfriend" of a guy for five years who then cheated on you and is continuing to do so. He is the one cheating, but if the girlfriend was aware of it, so is she. However, from you stating that she told you to stop texting, she was completely unaware of this fact.

Personally i understand the hesitance to make things official as my husband and i have dated for three years before we tied the knot as you would say, but that wasn't from his lack of trying or proposals. If this man really loved you:

1. he would have at least asked you to marry him by now
2. He would never have even looked at another girl in a potential girlfriend
3. He would fight for you, not the other way around.

So, here is my advice to you (and it worked for me) move on. be totally and mentally prepared that it won't happen again. you will never be more than maybe friends. let it sink in, date, get your own place, ect. if he fights for you, it will be on your terms whether you want that or not. Be prepared to date someone who does think the world of you and would fight for you. and if you find this guy out there for you, don't risk him for an old toy.

now when i say it worked for me, my husband and i when we were dating hit a real ruff patch and were separated for about a month. We moved out (my baby and i) and i was six months pregnant. I found a job, an apartment, my own support system and moved on. I didn't date as the pregnancy would be a huge complication and it wouldn't be good for my kids. I knew he would be in their lives, so i gave him a private number to call and see his son. then one day he called, i met him at a local restaurant and got down on his knees and begged me for a second chance and swore to me that he would change. I took him back and never regretted that choice.

Your man though, has not fought for you but is enjoying this game of you and his other gf fighting over him. don't give him the satisfaction.

best wishes,

December 21, 2015 - 11:56pm
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