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I was experimenting with a friend and we dry humped. We both had our clothes on. He was wearing boxers and pants (jeans/sweatpants) and I was wearing jeans, underwear and a pad because I was on my period. This was my first time experimenting. We had guidelines where he wasn't allowed to come on or around me. I wasn't aroused at all. I was experimenting because I think I am a straight asexual. I like men but I do not like the idea of having sex. He was trying to help me figure out if I really was asexual. The last time we did dry hump I told him to move away to the other side of the bed and not be by me. We had all our clothes on and I wore a pad. He came but far away and not on me at all. I recently got sick today and yesterday. This happened a week or two ago. I'm naturally a worry-wart and I have severe anxiety disorder. I am scared I may be pregnant because I was nauseous those two days. Both my guy and girl friends tell me I'm okay and that I've worried myself into sickness. Somebody please help me?
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Hi Anonymous,
Thank you for sharing the website and for more information about asexuality. The website itself is very interesting and worth the read. The sperm absorbing through multiple layers of clothing question, certainly would not be of a concern. Although during ejaculation, there are many soldiers fighting to get into the womens vagina, they are not that tough to make it through layers of clothing so don't worry too much about that.
As for feeling as if you do not want to have sex or marriage in the future, at your ripe age, you may change your mind with the right person but if you don't you are not alone and can have a sexless relationship and the website you found is great for that specific purpose.
There may be the misconception that sex = marriage or long lasting relationships, but you can ask both sexes which will agree that sex is such a SMALL part of a relationship. I would love for you to keep us updated about your lifestyle as there are many people that are asexual and I am certain, you all would be able to help each other. Thanks for sharing your story.
October 10, 2010 - 8:45amThis Comment
Hello Miscortes!
October 10, 2010 - 11:58pmThank you for the helpful information! I am glad that you like the AVEN website. It's a great place to explore. I feel very welcomed here. I know that if I have any useful information or websites to contribute to this place I will post it. I'm sure to be back if I have any questions, or comments to add. Thank you again for the helpful information! I'm feeling so much better now!
This Comment
There is absolutely no way you could be pregnant. Sperm must enter your vagina in some way, and just being near a male who ejaculated will not cause this to happen.
How old are you? Why do you feel that you are asexual?
October 10, 2010 - 5:44amThis Comment
I just turned 25. I never showed a real interest in sex. Masturbating I do alone, but I'm not really into having a sexual relationship. I was confused and I thought experimenting would help me figure out if I like anything. But it seems I have always been this way. I'm not unhappy nor disappointed by the results though. People can always change and I accept that in time I may change how I feel. I'm straight, and a virgin. I'm not ashamed by it though. I just thought if I tried something new it may be because I never tried anything, so I didn't know. At first I felt embarrassed because people don't really understand asexuals. I found a website group with explanations and a place for asexuals, and it has helped me find out where I am in life right now. That you for answering my question. I feel so silly, especially being my age. Much appreciated.
October 10, 2010 - 6:08amThis Comment
Please do not be embarrassed...there are so many misconceptions about sex, that it is difficult to find what the real, correct answers and information are about certain sexual behaviors.
I am glad you found a website that offers you some support! I am fairly knowledgeable about the LGBTQ community (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual and questioning), but unfortunately, I am not in regards to asexuals. I was curious about why you put the descriptor "straight" in front of asexual, as I was under the impression that asexual meant you are not interested in sexual relationships, and was curious why the importance of "straight" (versus "gay", "bisexual" or just leaving no descriptor).
I am sure you have been asked this question many times: how do you know when you are asexual versus not finding the "right person"? I would love to talk with you more about this, and can help find some information (and, make sure the website you are reading has some credible-factor to it!...if you would like, you can send me a private message with the website link, and I can check it out for you!).
Take care, and hope to hear from you again soon!
October 10, 2010 - 6:18amThis Comment
I forgot to include the link. http://www.asexuality.org/home/
I never felt the need to marry or have sex or anything like that. But I believe that if there is a right person out there and we just happen to meet and click, anything is possible and can change. I keep my mind and options open. A question I must ask is that can semen go through that many layers of clothes? I keep seeing some places saying yes and most saying no. I'm confused. I feel better today and after living off water and small bits of bread and apple sauce I finally am eating again. I usually don't eat when I am sick. Did I worry myself sick, and is that why I got nauseous?
October 10, 2010 - 6:36amThis Comment
I love, love the AVEN website! I am going to write an article about it; what an open community and extremely educational and positive. I think more people should know about it (feel free to send me a private message if you would like to talk about this website or article in more depth).
Thanks for sharing, and I hope you continue experimenting with many things in life (and use condoms if you ever find that you want to experiment further without clothes!).
Sperm dies when it is absorbed into the fabric; it is not strong enough to travel through fabric into your vagina.
Hope to talk again, soon!
October 10, 2010 - 8:22pmThis Comment
Alison, thank you so much for your help. I feel so much better knowing this information. I am glad you love the AVEN website. It's so helpful and educational. I'm glad that you will be writing an article on it. I'm sure it will benefit many other people out there. I will definitely be sure to use protection next time I am experimenting! Also I feel so much better today! Thank you, I appreciate all the help you have given me. I have learned so much just in the past few days. Thanks again and I know I will be sure to come back if I have any questions, comments or anything else helpful to add!
October 10, 2010 - 11:51pmThis Comment
Thank you for answering my questions. Yes, I've been asked that question before. Asexuals can or sometimes identify themselves as straight gay or bi. At first I thought I was scared of sex, and because I am sometimes shy with my body. With most of my friends and family having unplanned pregnancies and a religious family it is a bit scary to think I could be in the same situation. I also don't have sex because I don't want to end up with something like that. I know there are ways to prevent it but I don't feel too safe even with that. I feel maybe I am a little scared but most of the time I'm perfectly happy the way I am. I find men attractive and pleasing to look at, I have crushes but I don't really think of sex when I see someone I like. I just want to be friends, or hold hands. I'm pretty simple.
October 10, 2010 - 6:32amThis Comment